As many of you know, I have a lot ahead of me in the next couple of months. This week is finals week, which means studying my butt off. With that studying also comes time to say by to some friends. I may have to study but man, hanging out with friends is a total stress relief and it has done me well. This week have to say by to one friend who is near and dear to my heart. I met him on campus this year and we became fast friends.
It was only a couple months ago where Rick and I were sitting in a club meeting. I had been in the club since the beginning of the year, but rick was new. As we talked and got to know each other, we realized that we were very similar. We have the same personality, same sense of humor, and even somewhat of the same family lifestyle. He has a younger sister and I have a younger brother. We even feel the same on some religious views.
My favorite part of our friendship was the laughs we had and the stories we told. We even had some pretty great inside jokes that made it really awkward to talk about in front of grandma, but thats a different story. Rick wasn't just a friend though, he was a friend who came over for dinner every now and then. He had know place to go for easter so we fed him Easter dinner. That is, because our campus has no easter break.
I vividly remember acting giddy that I had a friend coming over for Easter. We had to pick Rick up from campus because he didn't have a car with him. My parents hadn't met him yet, but my parents trusted me. Thank god for facebook I was able to show my parents pictures of him and thats all that mattered.
As we sat at the kitchen table feasting on our easter meal, I remember sharing stories of our family and various other subjects. Rick would sit and listen to the stories just peeping in every once in a while. A great listener he was. After dinner was over, he helped us clear the table and then we played some games. I beat the crap out of him in Othello and I don't think he won a game of it, but he likes playing it and seeing me win. When we talk about hanging out he mentions getting beat in Othello and it makes me giggle.
Not only do we have the same humor, and interest in Othello, but we are both pet lovers. Rick loves dogs and alks about dogs, but really I'm sure inside somewhere he likes cats just as much. He says he's a dog person, but when he steps foot inside my house, you see his whole face light up when one of my cats greets him. Just today, we were distracted by our cats while playing games. The cats wanted to help so we gave them some love and attention. As Rick left he made sure to say bye to the cats and on our way back to his dorm, he got to tell me all about his dog.
As a child, I was always reminded that there is a huge difference between friends and acquaintances and that I didn't really have any real friends. Most of my friends had separate lives and saw me when they had the chance. My parents would tell me that a real friend is someone who you talk to every day when you get home from school or in class. You called each other on the phone. Okay, this was a few years back after all.
Okay, I am not trying to be romantic here. Rick was a friend, not just a friend, but someone who I could talk too. He wasn't a boyfriend,but he wasn't an acquaintance either. He was somewhere in between and to be perfectly honest, neither of us were or are interested in the dating option. Right now were focused on college and friendships, not relationships, but I think Rick has taught me a huge lesson. Not everyone you meet is going to be your best friend and not everyone you meet is going to be your acquaintance. Sometimes there just right there in the middle where you need them to be. Rick has also taught me what it really means to have a friend. Friends have there own schedules, but if they really care, they will fit you into theres and not worry about how many times simply J is going to call them in one hour. lol I had a bad habit of this because he never answers his cell. Maybe thats because its always dead. (clear throat here) Needless to say, Rick has taught me a lot about life. More than I can put in words here or than I feel I can share without his permission. He has taught me that overcoming obstacles is possible and not worrying about the little things is a must. Curiosity is a good thing, but worrying is not. Thank you rick for all you have taught me in these few short months!!!
Dickinson Mental Health Charity Ball
Sunday, April 28, 2013
Wednesday, April 24, 2013
The words your not supposed to say
People always sa that individuals on the spectrum aren't very social. Well, if you know me I am social and I am loud. I am very loud and sometimes thats not such a great idea. I'm the one who you can here in wal-mart even though I'm ten aisles down from you. My parents have honestly threatened to send me to a speech therapist if I would lower my voice and modulate it. Well, that never happened and I am still loud. I am also the one who when my parents have to tell a guest before they come to our house that I have aspergers, just tell them that I don't seem really different, but I'm just really loud. Well this week I have had to keep quiet!!!
I have already counted three times that I have had to keep my mouth shut. Sometimes its easier and sometimes its harder. The first one was when I gave my notice at my job last week. I didn't abruptly just quit my job and say heck with it. There was a lot that I took into consideration and it was almost as if I was naturally lead in that direction. I knew I would leave eventually, but I didn't know when. Well, God has his plans and he figuratively told me or let me know that now is the time, by putting other things ahead of me.
I gave my notice at my job and tried to stay quiet about it. I think I may have told a few staff members who I trusted just because I had to say something, but I hadn't planned on letting everyone know. There was no reason for them not to know, but there was no reason for them to know. I think the first thought to come to mind was that I didn't want my clients to know. I didn't know how to tell my clients who giggle when they come in the door and see me. When I ask them why they are giggling and tell me its because I am there. I didn't know how to tell someone that doesn't process information the same way you or I do. I didn't know how to tell someone that doesn't transition well.
Fortunately or unfortunately I came into work and the secret was clearly let out of the box somehow. I just went about my day and then one of my coworkers was talking to a client about me leaving. The secret was out and I was a little upset. I knew I would have to break the news somehow, but I didn't expect it to happen like that. I would have much preferred I talked to my boss about how to address our clients. In the end it worked out okay though.
The second thing I still can't really say much about other than I really need to keep my lips zipped. We have a small parking lot at work that our clients use to get clients in and out of the center. At that entrance there is a ramp and a cement patio in which you can easily wheel wheelchairs. Unfortunately, people were moving into a house nest door to us on this given day. That meant that they had an eighteen wheeler parked in our parking lot. You would think maybe a big box truck, but no this was an eighteen wheeler. I'll post a picture and video at the end. Needless to say we had to do some stuff to keep everyone safe, which probably wasn't the smartest thing to do on a normal basis, but in this situation was a must. Safety comes before rules and lets keep it at that. But right now I can laugh at the crazy stuff we had to do.
Lastly I must state that my math teacher isn't allowed to give out extra credit, but today we had a quiz that we could gain points on beyond our 100 percent score. We just couldn't call then extra credit. Now knowing me, I would go around telling everyone I got extra credit in math, but shh its a secret so I didn't.
Overall, I am just saying that its so hard to keep my mouth shut and sometimes I need to monitor what I say. It could be as simple as not telling someone there shirt is ugly or as complex as keeping people safe. There are just some things in life that will be our little secret!!!
I have already counted three times that I have had to keep my mouth shut. Sometimes its easier and sometimes its harder. The first one was when I gave my notice at my job last week. I didn't abruptly just quit my job and say heck with it. There was a lot that I took into consideration and it was almost as if I was naturally lead in that direction. I knew I would leave eventually, but I didn't know when. Well, God has his plans and he figuratively told me or let me know that now is the time, by putting other things ahead of me.
I gave my notice at my job and tried to stay quiet about it. I think I may have told a few staff members who I trusted just because I had to say something, but I hadn't planned on letting everyone know. There was no reason for them not to know, but there was no reason for them to know. I think the first thought to come to mind was that I didn't want my clients to know. I didn't know how to tell my clients who giggle when they come in the door and see me. When I ask them why they are giggling and tell me its because I am there. I didn't know how to tell someone that doesn't process information the same way you or I do. I didn't know how to tell someone that doesn't transition well.
Fortunately or unfortunately I came into work and the secret was clearly let out of the box somehow. I just went about my day and then one of my coworkers was talking to a client about me leaving. The secret was out and I was a little upset. I knew I would have to break the news somehow, but I didn't expect it to happen like that. I would have much preferred I talked to my boss about how to address our clients. In the end it worked out okay though.
The second thing I still can't really say much about other than I really need to keep my lips zipped. We have a small parking lot at work that our clients use to get clients in and out of the center. At that entrance there is a ramp and a cement patio in which you can easily wheel wheelchairs. Unfortunately, people were moving into a house nest door to us on this given day. That meant that they had an eighteen wheeler parked in our parking lot. You would think maybe a big box truck, but no this was an eighteen wheeler. I'll post a picture and video at the end. Needless to say we had to do some stuff to keep everyone safe, which probably wasn't the smartest thing to do on a normal basis, but in this situation was a must. Safety comes before rules and lets keep it at that. But right now I can laugh at the crazy stuff we had to do.
Lastly I must state that my math teacher isn't allowed to give out extra credit, but today we had a quiz that we could gain points on beyond our 100 percent score. We just couldn't call then extra credit. Now knowing me, I would go around telling everyone I got extra credit in math, but shh its a secret so I didn't.
Overall, I am just saying that its so hard to keep my mouth shut and sometimes I need to monitor what I say. It could be as simple as not telling someone there shirt is ugly or as complex as keeping people safe. There are just some things in life that will be our little secret!!!
Tuesday, April 23, 2013
Good Bye, Farewell, Until We Meet Again!!!
About five years, I was stepping off my bus and headed towards the front door of my house. I saw a crazy car sitting in my driveway that looked as crazy as that car you see in the end of Daddy Daycare. I walked in the house, shouted my typical hello for my mother to yell back from down the stairs. I put my backpack down, took my coat off and walked into what was once our toy room. In that toy room was not just toys, but a strange looking man, sitting on my floor and playing with my brother's to motorcycles. This man was not a child, but a full grown man playing with my brothers toys in my toy room.
"Holy crap!!! Who is this man?", I thought to myself. I ran down the stairs and asked my mother. She had two wonderful, but unfamiliar middle-aged women sitting with her. I asked my mom what was going on. She then declared that the man playing in my toy room was a young man with down syndrome who was the brother of her client. "Okay, they knew about him", I thought to myself. Thats a good step.
Shortly after they left, I talked to my mom about the clients. They owned and ran an adult daycare for adults with special needs. I had a light interest in working individuals with special needs, but I knew nothing. I had friends who had learning disabilities and some that were mentally challenged. I didn't know that people with Cerebral Palsy couldn't feed themselves all the time. I didn't know that just because your nonverbal, and wheelchair bound, doesn't mean your dumb. I didn't know that adults were diapers and I didn't know a whole lot of other things. I didn't even know that people with disabilities couldn't have jobs.
My mother suggested I volunteer at this place. At this time I hadn't really practiced the skill of calling people to inquire about stuff. I only called people I knew. Okay, I met these ladies once for like five minutes and I thought they were sisters. I did find some interest though and my mom handed me the phone number to call for volunteering and stood there to monitor my conversation.
I punched in the numbers and let the phone ring. A lady picked up on the other end. Her name was Lynn. I asked her about volunteering and asked her when I could come in. Before I was committed she told me that the place would be stinky because of dirty diapers and clients would cough on me when they were eating. "Great, I thought". I decided to give it a try because Lynn reassured me that I wouldn't have to do any of that stuff. I would just play with the clients and be a watchful eye.
I walked in on my first day of volunteering and I was greeted by Lynn, a client and the two cats. I though the center would be a building, but it was actually built into a store front with crafts celebrating the holidays hanging on the windows. That might have been coloring or whatever else they had been doing. Lynn introduced me to the client she was working with and then showed me the rest of the clients. We walked towards the back and past tables full of clients. Some sitting in chairs and others in wheelchairs. The first client she brought me by was a 22 year old young woman who was supposedly the social light of the party. She was nonverbal and in a wheelchair. How could she be the social light? She couldn't talk. I soon learned that she could talk, using a communication device.
We moved on through as Lynn gave me the tour. I saw a client sitting in a wheel chair the the biggest curls ever. She was clapping her hands, laughing, and rocking back and forth. She wasn't in there. She was severely disabled. As the day went on, I figured out things I could do with a variety of clients. This client that I walked in to that was clapping and rocking could actually play ball. We would put a ball on her lap and she would throw it. It wasn't meaningful play, but it was play.
From this day forward, with all of these experiences, I had my eyes opened very wide. I learned that every one has abilities not matter how small. I loved every moment there and I met lots of people. I ended up volunteering for about four years. We moved to a new center where we reside now. We are huge now. About two years ago I got hired though and it was the best thing that could've happened to me at the time.
I started the summer after graduation as a part time employee. I have worked there for two years now and I have learned so much, but sadly the time is coming to an end. My last day is going to be next Tuesday, because I feel the need to move on at this point. I am going off to college in the fall anyway and I found that this would be the best time. I have another summer job working with special needs again. I will be working with kids this time though and the job is closer to my home. I also have a boss that knows I have disabilities and has worked with my disabilities. She knows that I am not as emotionally mature as people my age and I think it will be a great fit, but we can't forget the stuff I learned over the years.
I have learned first and foremost that everyone deserves a chance. A chance at living and a chance of living outside of an institution. They deserve a chance to have an education and to reach there full potential. They deserve a chance to speak there opinion and to be social with others no matter how quiet or loud they are.
Secondly, we all have something to offer no matter how big or how small. If you can toss a ball, or see for the first time in your life. If you can run a motorized wheelchair or count your numbers. If you can bake or you can bead. If you can make a decision or even express an emotion, we all have talent and ability to some extent. We can all breathe and that is a skill. Don't take the little things for granted. Give others a chance and realize the potential no matter how small!!!
"Holy crap!!! Who is this man?", I thought to myself. I ran down the stairs and asked my mother. She had two wonderful, but unfamiliar middle-aged women sitting with her. I asked my mom what was going on. She then declared that the man playing in my toy room was a young man with down syndrome who was the brother of her client. "Okay, they knew about him", I thought to myself. Thats a good step.
Shortly after they left, I talked to my mom about the clients. They owned and ran an adult daycare for adults with special needs. I had a light interest in working individuals with special needs, but I knew nothing. I had friends who had learning disabilities and some that were mentally challenged. I didn't know that people with Cerebral Palsy couldn't feed themselves all the time. I didn't know that just because your nonverbal, and wheelchair bound, doesn't mean your dumb. I didn't know that adults were diapers and I didn't know a whole lot of other things. I didn't even know that people with disabilities couldn't have jobs.
My mother suggested I volunteer at this place. At this time I hadn't really practiced the skill of calling people to inquire about stuff. I only called people I knew. Okay, I met these ladies once for like five minutes and I thought they were sisters. I did find some interest though and my mom handed me the phone number to call for volunteering and stood there to monitor my conversation.
I punched in the numbers and let the phone ring. A lady picked up on the other end. Her name was Lynn. I asked her about volunteering and asked her when I could come in. Before I was committed she told me that the place would be stinky because of dirty diapers and clients would cough on me when they were eating. "Great, I thought". I decided to give it a try because Lynn reassured me that I wouldn't have to do any of that stuff. I would just play with the clients and be a watchful eye.
I walked in on my first day of volunteering and I was greeted by Lynn, a client and the two cats. I though the center would be a building, but it was actually built into a store front with crafts celebrating the holidays hanging on the windows. That might have been coloring or whatever else they had been doing. Lynn introduced me to the client she was working with and then showed me the rest of the clients. We walked towards the back and past tables full of clients. Some sitting in chairs and others in wheelchairs. The first client she brought me by was a 22 year old young woman who was supposedly the social light of the party. She was nonverbal and in a wheelchair. How could she be the social light? She couldn't talk. I soon learned that she could talk, using a communication device.
We moved on through as Lynn gave me the tour. I saw a client sitting in a wheel chair the the biggest curls ever. She was clapping her hands, laughing, and rocking back and forth. She wasn't in there. She was severely disabled. As the day went on, I figured out things I could do with a variety of clients. This client that I walked in to that was clapping and rocking could actually play ball. We would put a ball on her lap and she would throw it. It wasn't meaningful play, but it was play.
From this day forward, with all of these experiences, I had my eyes opened very wide. I learned that every one has abilities not matter how small. I loved every moment there and I met lots of people. I ended up volunteering for about four years. We moved to a new center where we reside now. We are huge now. About two years ago I got hired though and it was the best thing that could've happened to me at the time.
I started the summer after graduation as a part time employee. I have worked there for two years now and I have learned so much, but sadly the time is coming to an end. My last day is going to be next Tuesday, because I feel the need to move on at this point. I am going off to college in the fall anyway and I found that this would be the best time. I have another summer job working with special needs again. I will be working with kids this time though and the job is closer to my home. I also have a boss that knows I have disabilities and has worked with my disabilities. She knows that I am not as emotionally mature as people my age and I think it will be a great fit, but we can't forget the stuff I learned over the years.
I have learned first and foremost that everyone deserves a chance. A chance at living and a chance of living outside of an institution. They deserve a chance to have an education and to reach there full potential. They deserve a chance to speak there opinion and to be social with others no matter how quiet or loud they are.
Secondly, we all have something to offer no matter how big or how small. If you can toss a ball, or see for the first time in your life. If you can run a motorized wheelchair or count your numbers. If you can bake or you can bead. If you can make a decision or even express an emotion, we all have talent and ability to some extent. We can all breathe and that is a skill. Don't take the little things for granted. Give others a chance and realize the potential no matter how small!!!
Monday, April 22, 2013
The time is coming to an end!!!
I was born and raised in the town I grew up in. Its a small town with a large University and its fairly safe unless you go downtown when its dark on the weekends. Thats where you'll find all the drunk college students and occasionally some violence. Our police force has a good handle on things downtown though.
I've only lived in two houses over the past twenty years and seventeen of those years I have had a younger brother by my side. In the fall I'll be attending college and my brother will be a senior in high school. Let's face it, we're getting old. My parents are now those parents who in time will say, "yes we have kids, but there all grown."
With that being said, hopefully my brother will be headed off to college while I'll be attending my second year even though we're three years apart. That means in the near future there will no longer be a little brother to come home to on the weekends, or play games with when he's in a good mood. No brother to explain to others that I'm quirky, but not different. No brother to protect me when others hurt me. No brother to protect me while my parents are out and its dark out. No brother to comfort me during a seizure if my parents aren't around. No brother to be there.
Its not a bad thing, but its a good thing that each of us our finding our ways into leading independent lives. As we do this though, I am realizing how much of an impact my brother has had on me. Just the other day, I brought home ice cream for him and he gave me a huge bear hug. Its ice cream for pete's sake. In all honesty, I don't think he sees the future, but only sees the present.
Obviously we'll always have each others backs, but we'll lead different lives under different roof's. Hopefully my brother will go onto college and move out on his own. He'll find a decent job, find a wife, get married and have kids. I'll hopefully go off to college, crossing my fingers be able to live on my own depending on where I can find a job and how much transportation holds me hostage and hopefully find the right man, but I haven't really kissed any frogs yet, so thats a far fetch.
The truth of the matter is that I don't think my brother and I are seeing eye to eye on things. My brother sees me coming home every weekend next year to see him and my parents and we'll live happily ever after. I see us moving out and on our own to follow our dreams and this may mean less contact and more passion for our careers and future families. We're leaving the next and flying where were taken. God only knows, maybe I'll have to live with my brother for transportation purposes, but my hope is that he is able to lead his only life and not worry about how well I'm taken care of. My dream is that I'll be able to take care of myself and follow my own dreams without too many burdens.
We must take the time we have together and cherish it before its gone. Time flies!!!
I've only lived in two houses over the past twenty years and seventeen of those years I have had a younger brother by my side. In the fall I'll be attending college and my brother will be a senior in high school. Let's face it, we're getting old. My parents are now those parents who in time will say, "yes we have kids, but there all grown."
With that being said, hopefully my brother will be headed off to college while I'll be attending my second year even though we're three years apart. That means in the near future there will no longer be a little brother to come home to on the weekends, or play games with when he's in a good mood. No brother to explain to others that I'm quirky, but not different. No brother to protect me when others hurt me. No brother to protect me while my parents are out and its dark out. No brother to comfort me during a seizure if my parents aren't around. No brother to be there.
Its not a bad thing, but its a good thing that each of us our finding our ways into leading independent lives. As we do this though, I am realizing how much of an impact my brother has had on me. Just the other day, I brought home ice cream for him and he gave me a huge bear hug. Its ice cream for pete's sake. In all honesty, I don't think he sees the future, but only sees the present.
Obviously we'll always have each others backs, but we'll lead different lives under different roof's. Hopefully my brother will go onto college and move out on his own. He'll find a decent job, find a wife, get married and have kids. I'll hopefully go off to college, crossing my fingers be able to live on my own depending on where I can find a job and how much transportation holds me hostage and hopefully find the right man, but I haven't really kissed any frogs yet, so thats a far fetch.
The truth of the matter is that I don't think my brother and I are seeing eye to eye on things. My brother sees me coming home every weekend next year to see him and my parents and we'll live happily ever after. I see us moving out and on our own to follow our dreams and this may mean less contact and more passion for our careers and future families. We're leaving the next and flying where were taken. God only knows, maybe I'll have to live with my brother for transportation purposes, but my hope is that he is able to lead his only life and not worry about how well I'm taken care of. My dream is that I'll be able to take care of myself and follow my own dreams without too many burdens.
We must take the time we have together and cherish it before its gone. Time flies!!!
Friday, April 19, 2013
With a good fight, comes a good day!!!
It all started last week! I had a TB test done which was followed by a vaccine! The vaccine doesn't have a lot of side affects other than fainting and I don't typically suffer from side affects. Well my body is also very different than most and acts like how it wants too ask. I have to be very careful to take enough medicine and not too much because my body is sensitive too. Therefore, I am on crazy medication dosages, such as having decimal point differences in my dosages. That being said this has been a really rough week in terms of how my medical conditions go.
I received the Gardasil shot last Thursday as in a week ago and this was followed by a migraine. That Friday I suffered another seizure, which was then followed by more migraines Monday, Tuesday and once again yesterday and some blood work. To say the least, this week has been one from H*** for me. It has been painful and scary. I have felt literally sick as the energy has been drained from my body, but today changed that.
I got the blood taken Tuesday, and heard back from the doc that same day. Up we go on the seizure medication and down we go on the energy level. With every problem you fix there is always another consequence. I am very happy that they are trying to control my seizures, but still!!! I'm not sure whats up with the Migraines, I came home last night and a friend came over. She was out by eight because I could no longer function and was in tears. Medicine didn't help and I was in bed by 8:30. Today I woke up great though.
I finally got to pick out a new pair of glasses, and if you have been following me on facebook you no how thats been going. I picked out a really cute pair of purple glasses that have glitter on them too! Along with the glasses I was also offered to volunteer during our special olympics and help people pick glasses out because my dr. office does a clinic then. I even get a special olympics shirt. This conversation was followed by some friendship related things.
There is a young girl in my area who supposedly has trouble with friends and also has some vision issues. The technician who works with me is going to try to get us in contact with each other and I am super excited about that!!! Hopefully I'll hear more details about this soon. My mother and I followed this witha trip to McDonald's to get a sweet tea of course.
After pushing through this week, it turned out happily ever after. I think there is a lesson to learn from this. There may be crap in your life that you have to deal with, but if you push through it there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. Obviously the tunnel may be longer for some or more gruesome for others, but it will be there. The tunnel may open and close on you again, but one must cherish the good moments in life and thats what I did today. It may have stormed and I may have had to drive through a riven today,but guess what I didn't have a migraine and I made good connections today. Tomorrow I may have to work my butt off scooping ice cream all day, but in the end I'm with my friends and I get to go see friends from out of town afterwards. Its not that I don't like work, I'm just trying tos how that out of all bad comes good as long as you let it.
I received the Gardasil shot last Thursday as in a week ago and this was followed by a migraine. That Friday I suffered another seizure, which was then followed by more migraines Monday, Tuesday and once again yesterday and some blood work. To say the least, this week has been one from H*** for me. It has been painful and scary. I have felt literally sick as the energy has been drained from my body, but today changed that.
I got the blood taken Tuesday, and heard back from the doc that same day. Up we go on the seizure medication and down we go on the energy level. With every problem you fix there is always another consequence. I am very happy that they are trying to control my seizures, but still!!! I'm not sure whats up with the Migraines, I came home last night and a friend came over. She was out by eight because I could no longer function and was in tears. Medicine didn't help and I was in bed by 8:30. Today I woke up great though.
I finally got to pick out a new pair of glasses, and if you have been following me on facebook you no how thats been going. I picked out a really cute pair of purple glasses that have glitter on them too! Along with the glasses I was also offered to volunteer during our special olympics and help people pick glasses out because my dr. office does a clinic then. I even get a special olympics shirt. This conversation was followed by some friendship related things.
There is a young girl in my area who supposedly has trouble with friends and also has some vision issues. The technician who works with me is going to try to get us in contact with each other and I am super excited about that!!! Hopefully I'll hear more details about this soon. My mother and I followed this witha trip to McDonald's to get a sweet tea of course.
After pushing through this week, it turned out happily ever after. I think there is a lesson to learn from this. There may be crap in your life that you have to deal with, but if you push through it there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. Obviously the tunnel may be longer for some or more gruesome for others, but it will be there. The tunnel may open and close on you again, but one must cherish the good moments in life and thats what I did today. It may have stormed and I may have had to drive through a riven today,but guess what I didn't have a migraine and I made good connections today. Tomorrow I may have to work my butt off scooping ice cream all day, but in the end I'm with my friends and I get to go see friends from out of town afterwards. Its not that I don't like work, I'm just trying tos how that out of all bad comes good as long as you let it.
Sunday, April 14, 2013
Sisterly Reflections
Seventeen years ago today, I welcomed my little brother into my life. A day later I went to the hospital to visit him and I even got to hold him. I was only a toddler at the time, but I was so excited to have a baby brother. I was determined to help my mommy take care of this little bundle of joy. To this day I love my brother with that same exact love, but we show it in different ways. Its not so much about how we get along today, but the experiences that have lead us to where we are today and the happy moments in our lives together
Snort
Every child learns their animals at a young age or for the most part. We like to experiment with our voice and learn how to pronounce words. Sometimes in the process we pick up other ways to get our message across. During our early years, my brother and i made up our own words. I ended up calling elephants blemit's and my brother called rhino's, snorts which I find absolutely adorable. The medical geek in me even finds this kind of amusing since rhino actually means nose and you snort with your nose. Maybe children are smarter then we think.
Invisible Dog
My mother was never a stay at home mom, but she did have her own business with flexible hours. We still went to daycare though. During our daycare years my brother met a little girl who at the age of three he declared was his "girlfriend". I think they probably "broke up" when they were about five because they went to different schools and were interested in different kids, but they still played soccer together.
All kids want what is cool and somehow his "girlfriend", found out about this really cool invisible dog that you could take care of. My brother thought this was the best toy invention ever and begged my parents for one. We were down in disney at one point and my father showed my brother the invisible dog. The invisible dog was a wire with a wire harness/muzzle thing attached. My brother looked at the toy and realized there was no dog and then looked up to my father in utter disgust and declared that he didn't want said invisible dog.
The Hat
I have always been a rule driven person, but my brother has always been the one to push the buttons when it comes to the little stuff. He's a typical kid or now teenager. Several years ago we decided to go to disney world with some family friends. During our trip there, we went to a sit down restaurant, which we never do there. It was a great experience, but if you have ever been to the Prime Time Cafe, it is a hoot. At this time, my brother was still unaware of the fact that it was impolite to have your hat on at the table. My brother was asked by the waiter who was our "mother" for the night to take his hat off a number of times. He refused to take it. Eventually our waitress physically took the hat from my brother for the remainder of dinner. Of course he was allowed having it back at the end, but to see his reaction was hilarious. I think now my brother knows how important it is to take your hat off.
Slimed
Yeas ago we decided to enjoy our spring break at the nick hotel. One of the various activities that you could participate in was slime time live. We filled out an application and were a team picked to compete. At this time speed stack cups were a huge deal. Anyway we got picked to sit in the seats in fron of a huge crowd with the chance of being slimed. I got the fortune of sliming my little brother in the face. He totally deserved it after all fights he has picked with me.
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The Past 17 years haven't always been easy, but they sure have been interesting. My brother and I will always be together during happy times and during hard times.
Snort
Every child learns their animals at a young age or for the most part. We like to experiment with our voice and learn how to pronounce words. Sometimes in the process we pick up other ways to get our message across. During our early years, my brother and i made up our own words. I ended up calling elephants blemit's and my brother called rhino's, snorts which I find absolutely adorable. The medical geek in me even finds this kind of amusing since rhino actually means nose and you snort with your nose. Maybe children are smarter then we think.
Invisible Dog
My mother was never a stay at home mom, but she did have her own business with flexible hours. We still went to daycare though. During our daycare years my brother met a little girl who at the age of three he declared was his "girlfriend". I think they probably "broke up" when they were about five because they went to different schools and were interested in different kids, but they still played soccer together.
All kids want what is cool and somehow his "girlfriend", found out about this really cool invisible dog that you could take care of. My brother thought this was the best toy invention ever and begged my parents for one. We were down in disney at one point and my father showed my brother the invisible dog. The invisible dog was a wire with a wire harness/muzzle thing attached. My brother looked at the toy and realized there was no dog and then looked up to my father in utter disgust and declared that he didn't want said invisible dog.
The Hat
I have always been a rule driven person, but my brother has always been the one to push the buttons when it comes to the little stuff. He's a typical kid or now teenager. Several years ago we decided to go to disney world with some family friends. During our trip there, we went to a sit down restaurant, which we never do there. It was a great experience, but if you have ever been to the Prime Time Cafe, it is a hoot. At this time, my brother was still unaware of the fact that it was impolite to have your hat on at the table. My brother was asked by the waiter who was our "mother" for the night to take his hat off a number of times. He refused to take it. Eventually our waitress physically took the hat from my brother for the remainder of dinner. Of course he was allowed having it back at the end, but to see his reaction was hilarious. I think now my brother knows how important it is to take your hat off.
Slimed
Yeas ago we decided to enjoy our spring break at the nick hotel. One of the various activities that you could participate in was slime time live. We filled out an application and were a team picked to compete. At this time speed stack cups were a huge deal. Anyway we got picked to sit in the seats in fron of a huge crowd with the chance of being slimed. I got the fortune of sliming my little brother in the face. He totally deserved it after all fights he has picked with me.
.jpg)
The Past 17 years haven't always been easy, but they sure have been interesting. My brother and I will always be together during happy times and during hard times.
Thursday, April 11, 2013
Don't say that!!! Its a bad word.
We all know its autism awareness month. I am extremely happy that we have a whole month devoted to autism, but there are some negative things about it that most people don't know. To be perfectly honest, living in an aspie world and putting up with such things is driving me nuts. This month is Light It Up Blue for autism. Most condition awareness programs have a color, but autism's blue color is bad because its not just about autism its about the overpowering organization who promotes it.
Most people in in The United States have heard of Autism Speaks. It is a huge organization that is run by money. They are a web based services that gives screening tips and basically compiles all news sources about autism each day. They make you think that they are raising money to help people on the spectrum, but they are raising money to have a bigger voice. The richer you are the better you are as a business.
If you actually look at there website, you won't find anywhere that Autism Speaks itself provides services to families. When you look under the services tab, they show there campaign, there blog and other resources that you could happily look up on the internet by yourself. They don't have chapters, therapies, conferences, or research. Under there research tab, they have all the news stories of other researchers. When you look at where the money goes, the majorities of the millions of dollars made every year go to the president and what not.
Now when you look at the title, it gets even worse. Autism Speaks!!! What do you think this means? Well if you go to their youtube channel, you will clearly see that there belief is that people with autism are locked inside their own mind by the devil with no voice or chance at life. We need to feed them and give them everything in life. Are you kidding me? I was told that I would be living in a group home as an adult and here I am going to college. I was never an unhappy child because I couldn't communicate properly. If you have the will, energy and right supports, you will succeed. What makes Autism Speaks think that feeding in to everything thing and telling the world that the devil is inside of them is giving them support? Use the damn money to go toward the services so they are terrorized.
Now that you have a little background, I want to share with you the whole autism awareness month part. I think autism awareness month is great, but I would be much happier if it was a rainbow theme as in the puzzle pieces design as opposed to the blue puzzle piece design. By supporting autism speaks, you are supporting the demonizing terrors of autism, but by celebrating autism in life you are supporting awareness and success of individuals who may need help but are going to live!!!
Most people in in The United States have heard of Autism Speaks. It is a huge organization that is run by money. They are a web based services that gives screening tips and basically compiles all news sources about autism each day. They make you think that they are raising money to help people on the spectrum, but they are raising money to have a bigger voice. The richer you are the better you are as a business.
If you actually look at there website, you won't find anywhere that Autism Speaks itself provides services to families. When you look under the services tab, they show there campaign, there blog and other resources that you could happily look up on the internet by yourself. They don't have chapters, therapies, conferences, or research. Under there research tab, they have all the news stories of other researchers. When you look at where the money goes, the majorities of the millions of dollars made every year go to the president and what not.
Now when you look at the title, it gets even worse. Autism Speaks!!! What do you think this means? Well if you go to their youtube channel, you will clearly see that there belief is that people with autism are locked inside their own mind by the devil with no voice or chance at life. We need to feed them and give them everything in life. Are you kidding me? I was told that I would be living in a group home as an adult and here I am going to college. I was never an unhappy child because I couldn't communicate properly. If you have the will, energy and right supports, you will succeed. What makes Autism Speaks think that feeding in to everything thing and telling the world that the devil is inside of them is giving them support? Use the damn money to go toward the services so they are terrorized.
Now that you have a little background, I want to share with you the whole autism awareness month part. I think autism awareness month is great, but I would be much happier if it was a rainbow theme as in the puzzle pieces design as opposed to the blue puzzle piece design. By supporting autism speaks, you are supporting the demonizing terrors of autism, but by celebrating autism in life you are supporting awareness and success of individuals who may need help but are going to live!!!
Monday, April 8, 2013
Laughter is the best medicine
True face!!! The past couple days haven't been rough, but they have been interesting to say the least. I am always a happy person, but just like anyone else, I also have emotions and things that tick me off. There have been a few things the past couple days that could have ticked me off and somewhat did, but in the end I just laughed. Laughing was the best solution and I am so glad I found the laughter in me and found that it helped.
Friendships are a never ending battle for me. I swear I feel like a little kid where I am friends with someone one day and enemies the next. This is especially happens on the job with coworkers. Don't get me wrong I love my coworkers and I love my supervisors, but sometimes they tick me off and sometimes they are just plain disrespectful. The past month has had a few rough spells. I have had two girls on two different occasions say some pretty sarcastic and extremely rude things to me.
The first time this happened at work was about three weeks ago. I got really upset and went and tattled to my boss. I explained to my boss that I had Aspergers and that sometimes I am a bit more sensitive, but this person bothered me. I told them that I admit I don't get sarcasm all the time, but there are lines to draw. I have an idea of when someone is being sarcastic to be mean and when someone is just goofing off. It takes time to learn this with people, but I do.
Let me back track and tell you a little bit about my first job first. I started volunteering at an adult daycare when I was about fifteen years old. I eventually got hired by them and have worked there ever since. My mom had done business with them since she sells t-shirs and stuff. My mom had a strong connection with them and has a strong connection with them to this day. If there is a problem at work my mom hears about it. Its not because my boss is tattling, but because she wants to help me. She handles me very patiently, but also has high expectations for me. We work things out and I feel comfortable with her.
When I came into this new job, I came in all by myself to apply and be accepted. There was no mommy or daddy around. As I grew more comfortable with the job I felt more willing to talk about my parents and my family. I figured with a larger business like a creamery, you would have a boss that told you what to do and that was it, but its not. The bosses at the creamery treat us all on an equal level and expect acceptance of all. The bosses to an extent are our friends. When there is down time they kind of just hang out with us and we share funny stories. I'm sure they will never let me live down the story of the town next to me being poor for instance, but thats another story. They are our friends who give us guidance as we need it. They are there for us when we need them too.
As I got more comfortable with my bosses I started to talk about my family. The fact that I have a brother and I would talk about my parents. My bosses friended me on facebook which I was half tempted to do due to professionalism, but they are our friends not our enemies. As time went on I was able to share more information like the fact that I have autism. Sometimes my mom goes to the creamery to get cream cheese and will come home and tell me someone said hi. My coworkers aren't ashamed of there parents or aren't judgmental of my relationship with my parents. Its great.
After going through the whole conversation with my boss, she took care of business and had absolutely no tolerance for disrespect of others. Within fifteen minutes of talking to her my coworkers were working like I have never seen them work before. It was great, but I was still a little nervous. I worry about acceptance a lot. I finally got over that then something else happened.
On Saturday i had work again. Once again someone said something really disrespectful in a sarcastic way. I had been perseverating on something and it wasn't my disability. Fancy that!!! For some reason they weren't going to take any of it though so they finally snapped. Instead of acting like a baby I went to some of the people who I trust at work that were my peers and not my boss to tell them I was upset and I didn't like it. I told them girls were being bitchy to me again and then I told them what happened. I stepped off the floor for a minute to get a drink and ran into my supervisor. I told her that people were being bitchy again and she said she knew and she already heard. It just makes me smile that these bosses who I came to not expecting anything are so gracious and care about there staff. I may have had to take a couple breaths, but in the end I just had to laugh and tell my self that sucks for them that they don't know how to be happy and respect and be happy with the joy in others. Following this I had to give a huge belly laugh though.
Earlier on Saturday, I had broken my glasses by accident. I picked them up and they snapped. I got really upset because it made it harder to do my schoolwork that was due today. My parents told me some of the stress wasn't the pain from the glasses being messed up, but just knowing. That was true. We tried going to the eye doctor to get them fixed, but they were closed. Now what? My dad taped up my glasses and I decided to name my self dork face for the day. It just turned into a big joke. I had to laugh and not get so upset. Everything was going to be okay, I just needed to laugh. It did the trick, but later that night I had some visitors at work who decided to tape there glasses so they could be dorks too, which just cheered me up even more. We took our pictures, but I'm a bit too embarrassed to show that one. But we laughed it off and now my glasses are fixed.
Today things got even more interesting. Let me start of by saying that I live in a really small down with a huge abundance of doctors. This means that it just so happens that two of my neighbors just so happen to be two of my doctors. None of which was by choice, but all of which was pure referral and finding out afterwards. We aren't a real social neighborhood so we hear a name and think they might live here, but aren't sure. Anyway, I got done with my doctor's appointment in a really small office. I walked out the door at about lunch time to check out. My dr.'s office in the office is behind the check-in desk, so when I walked out I could see who was on the other side. As I walked out something was clicking in my head that it was my neighbor and that it just so happened to be my neighbors wife. I finally was close enough for her to say hi. I told her that I wasn't sure it was her and then I said oh wait, wow you look NICE today as if she never looks nice. She took a day for herself and prettied her hair up and were a really nice t-shirt. As I said this my doctor chuckled because he knows I have aspergers. Thank God both him and his wife know since they are my neighbors. I see his wife occasionally walking the dog in the neighborhood so she could have had all the reason for me to think she normally looks crappy!!!! She doesn't normally look crappy, but she looked nice today. As I walked out I just thought how awkward that was. Everyone knew what I was saying but once again we all laughed it off. It was one time that my intonation was off. So many times people talk about having monologue voices in autism, but I don't. this time I think I slipped though. We laughed and we are all fine, but man there have been some "funny" things lately!
Friendships are a never ending battle for me. I swear I feel like a little kid where I am friends with someone one day and enemies the next. This is especially happens on the job with coworkers. Don't get me wrong I love my coworkers and I love my supervisors, but sometimes they tick me off and sometimes they are just plain disrespectful. The past month has had a few rough spells. I have had two girls on two different occasions say some pretty sarcastic and extremely rude things to me.
The first time this happened at work was about three weeks ago. I got really upset and went and tattled to my boss. I explained to my boss that I had Aspergers and that sometimes I am a bit more sensitive, but this person bothered me. I told them that I admit I don't get sarcasm all the time, but there are lines to draw. I have an idea of when someone is being sarcastic to be mean and when someone is just goofing off. It takes time to learn this with people, but I do.
Let me back track and tell you a little bit about my first job first. I started volunteering at an adult daycare when I was about fifteen years old. I eventually got hired by them and have worked there ever since. My mom had done business with them since she sells t-shirs and stuff. My mom had a strong connection with them and has a strong connection with them to this day. If there is a problem at work my mom hears about it. Its not because my boss is tattling, but because she wants to help me. She handles me very patiently, but also has high expectations for me. We work things out and I feel comfortable with her.
When I came into this new job, I came in all by myself to apply and be accepted. There was no mommy or daddy around. As I grew more comfortable with the job I felt more willing to talk about my parents and my family. I figured with a larger business like a creamery, you would have a boss that told you what to do and that was it, but its not. The bosses at the creamery treat us all on an equal level and expect acceptance of all. The bosses to an extent are our friends. When there is down time they kind of just hang out with us and we share funny stories. I'm sure they will never let me live down the story of the town next to me being poor for instance, but thats another story. They are our friends who give us guidance as we need it. They are there for us when we need them too.
As I got more comfortable with my bosses I started to talk about my family. The fact that I have a brother and I would talk about my parents. My bosses friended me on facebook which I was half tempted to do due to professionalism, but they are our friends not our enemies. As time went on I was able to share more information like the fact that I have autism. Sometimes my mom goes to the creamery to get cream cheese and will come home and tell me someone said hi. My coworkers aren't ashamed of there parents or aren't judgmental of my relationship with my parents. Its great.
After going through the whole conversation with my boss, she took care of business and had absolutely no tolerance for disrespect of others. Within fifteen minutes of talking to her my coworkers were working like I have never seen them work before. It was great, but I was still a little nervous. I worry about acceptance a lot. I finally got over that then something else happened.
On Saturday i had work again. Once again someone said something really disrespectful in a sarcastic way. I had been perseverating on something and it wasn't my disability. Fancy that!!! For some reason they weren't going to take any of it though so they finally snapped. Instead of acting like a baby I went to some of the people who I trust at work that were my peers and not my boss to tell them I was upset and I didn't like it. I told them girls were being bitchy to me again and then I told them what happened. I stepped off the floor for a minute to get a drink and ran into my supervisor. I told her that people were being bitchy again and she said she knew and she already heard. It just makes me smile that these bosses who I came to not expecting anything are so gracious and care about there staff. I may have had to take a couple breaths, but in the end I just had to laugh and tell my self that sucks for them that they don't know how to be happy and respect and be happy with the joy in others. Following this I had to give a huge belly laugh though.
Earlier on Saturday, I had broken my glasses by accident. I picked them up and they snapped. I got really upset because it made it harder to do my schoolwork that was due today. My parents told me some of the stress wasn't the pain from the glasses being messed up, but just knowing. That was true. We tried going to the eye doctor to get them fixed, but they were closed. Now what? My dad taped up my glasses and I decided to name my self dork face for the day. It just turned into a big joke. I had to laugh and not get so upset. Everything was going to be okay, I just needed to laugh. It did the trick, but later that night I had some visitors at work who decided to tape there glasses so they could be dorks too, which just cheered me up even more. We took our pictures, but I'm a bit too embarrassed to show that one. But we laughed it off and now my glasses are fixed.
Today things got even more interesting. Let me start of by saying that I live in a really small down with a huge abundance of doctors. This means that it just so happens that two of my neighbors just so happen to be two of my doctors. None of which was by choice, but all of which was pure referral and finding out afterwards. We aren't a real social neighborhood so we hear a name and think they might live here, but aren't sure. Anyway, I got done with my doctor's appointment in a really small office. I walked out the door at about lunch time to check out. My dr.'s office in the office is behind the check-in desk, so when I walked out I could see who was on the other side. As I walked out something was clicking in my head that it was my neighbor and that it just so happened to be my neighbors wife. I finally was close enough for her to say hi. I told her that I wasn't sure it was her and then I said oh wait, wow you look NICE today as if she never looks nice. She took a day for herself and prettied her hair up and were a really nice t-shirt. As I said this my doctor chuckled because he knows I have aspergers. Thank God both him and his wife know since they are my neighbors. I see his wife occasionally walking the dog in the neighborhood so she could have had all the reason for me to think she normally looks crappy!!!! She doesn't normally look crappy, but she looked nice today. As I walked out I just thought how awkward that was. Everyone knew what I was saying but once again we all laughed it off. It was one time that my intonation was off. So many times people talk about having monologue voices in autism, but I don't. this time I think I slipped though. We laughed and we are all fine, but man there have been some "funny" things lately!
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