Dear Matt

      I stepped off the elevator and made a sharp right, about to exit the building and head to work. One hundred feet in front of me there was the blurred vision of a man, about 5 foot with a very round face. In the distance, the face looked so familiar, but my mind could not wrap itself around who this “stranger” was. As I tiptoed myself closer, I was able to make out the light brown hair on the sides of his head and the little goatee. “Matt”, I thought to myself, “that isn’t Matt, for this man looks a bit harrier”. I took another ten steps forward as my jaw dropped to the floor. “Oh my God, I don’t know what to say, oh my God”, I shouted as I embraced him arms stretched wide. There was nothing to say; Matt was here, standing right in front of me.

            As the echoes of my shouting made its way through the hall, doors opened and people peaked to see what had just happened. Is she upset? Is everyone okay? Matt, although not working at the time, went into action and quickly moved me to a quieter, less chaotic room. “It’s okay, I’m just stopping through on my way to see my father”, he said. He was quick to assure me that everything was okay and he knew just what to do: distract me, talk to me. Due to the shock of this unfolding situation, there is so much that I feel that I didn’t get to say. When you don’t see or talk to someone who means so much to you, there is a lot to catch up on.

Dear Matt,

       This is a sweet note to you of all the cool stuff that I wish I had told you in that moment I had with you:

·      I’m not only graduating, but I’m graduating with my Bachelor’s degree

·      My brother is doing phenomenal and my mother is healthier than she has been since I was in high school.
·      Eileen graduated in 2016 and is graduating from Salisbury University with her Master’s in May
·      Cathy is the new you. She has your directness, but Amie has your sense of humor. I never imagined being able to find someone who could fill your shoes, but the two of them together do a pretty good job. It’s not that your not awesome, its that I want you to know that I am well cared for and I continue to have the great supports that you gave me while you lived hear. I want you to be able to have a sense of peace knowing I am in good hands.
·      Oh, did I mention that everyone has to come into work at 8 am now? No more sleeping in until 10am
·      As I headed off to work, I forgot to let you know that I got a job with student activities shortly after you left. Sara hooked me up after not getting the Ambassador position as you had suggested.
·      Now I have a table in my common area just for my puzzles. P.S. I’ll never forget when you liked to come up and flip my pieces over, just to annoy me.
·      Benjamin Plum Farm turned into the Acres Project and now we have a house!!! I might even live there.
·      Lastly, I miss you and as Eileen taught me, it’s not goodbye, it’s see you later!

Two Years and Many Life Lessons

     Social skills have never come easy to me, but over the past two years I have been fortunate enough to be surrounded by wise people who have taught me some of the most important lessons regarding social interactions and emotional coping. Last year I lived with an amazing Resident Assistant who taught me multiple lessons and this year I was blessed to have a Resident Coordinator who was wise beyond her years.
     Last year, I was placed in the same pod as an extremely talented and gifted RA named Eileen. Within our wing and floor of the building, there were four other individuals who just so happened to be on the Autism Spectrum. this made for some difficult situations and a lot of intense emotions. What made the situation more complicated was that I lived right across the hall from the individual who I was mentoring through the Office of Disability Services.
     Due to the intense emotions and multiple meltdowns between us, there were a lot of lessons to be learned and Eileen was our leader as we worked through these tough situations. Often times, when there was a rule broken or someone else was upset, I would begin to intervene or get extremely worked up myself. After watching how Eileen would interact with these individuals and myself, I gained a lot of insight. One of the most valuable lessons was taught to me when my mentee would become extremely impulsive or would act out and I immediately wanted to do something about it. Eileen showed me that sometimes others have to work through those situations themselves and those who are on outside should only intervene if someone was in danger or trouble.
     The second thing she taught me was to be quiet and think before I spoke. She was an amazing role model with very few words. It's not that she couldn't speak, but she was able to get her message across with out explaining everything. She taught me that some of the most powerful messages or conversations are conveyed with very few words. This has allowed me to think more before I speak and "dabble" in conversations instead of taking a whole conversation over.
      While Eileen taught me a lot of lessons, my Resident Coordinator taught me some invaluable lessons as well. Given the extreme need to help everyone or "fix" everyone up when they were upset, I would constantly be observing others emotions. One day, as I was sitting in the Residence Life office, my Coordinator Cathy walked in. I could tell that she was stressed, which automatically made me start to worry. I questioned if she was okay and she said something about being tired or stressed. I expressed to her that sometimes I just expect everyone to be happy and I don't like seeing people upset. With this, she made one of the most profound statements I have ever heard. "If you don't have a rough day sometimes, you won't be able to enjoy the good days". This taught to live more in the moment and enjoy the happiness and work through the tougher emotions.
     Later on during the year, I was talking with my coordinator and I had asked her something about what her siblings did for a living. She told me she had no idea, she never asked and didn't really care to know. Originally one would expect that to be a pretty strong statement, but she is the only one in her family who had gone to college. She doesn't worry about others because she worries about herself and what makes her happy. That small statement about how she didn't care what her siblings did for a living, showed me that I can't feed off of what others are feeling or what others are going through. I can care about others, but that doesn't mean I have to feel what they are going through. I need to take care of myself and do what makes me happy before I worry about others. If I have room to worry about others, then I can.
     These last two years have taught me so much about myself and the world around me. I can't wait to see what the next two years have in store.