As most of my blog followers know, I just started going to a new school this year; the school is in the same district, but its a different program. During the day, I am constantly going. I have class after class and then I have lunch and then I have class again. There is no down time which can sometimes cause problems.
The classroom also has seventeen students with varying disabilities and needs, which means that sometimes it can get a little noisy with all the help that is needed. I also forgot to mention that we always have mentors coming and going from our class.
Lately I have felt like I have had ants in my pants; I just have this urge to move by the time lunch is over. As a child I never went for occupational therapy despite the fact that I have always had a sensitivity to sound. My sensory issues have been manageable. My mother has also turned me away from all those cool sensory toys that would be perfectly acceptable in the hands of someone with Aspergers syndrome. We have always had the urge for me to fit in, but lately I have needed the extra stimulation to calm myself.
The decision gets tough as to whether I bring sensory toys into my life at this stage. I have always had a trampoline to calm myself, but that is a typical house hold item that everyone has. The decision is tough because I have never had these tools before, but if I don't use the toys I am more prone to do behaviors that look weird such has repeatedly hitting the table with my hand or rigidly rocking a couple of times. Would toys be less awkard? That is the question I have. They are something that can be hid under the table, but people can see them. The rocking and slapping can be disturbing and awkward.
I always thought that if mom didn't want me to use these tools, that I could get by without them. After all I think my sensory issues hit their peak in about 7th grade, but our classroom is very stimulating and it is sometimes too stimulating. I have tried a couple of tools. I tried a fidget the other day and within five or ten minutes I was okay and put it away. By no means am I using the fidget for attention getting and therefore I am going to use is as little as I can, but I think that tool is something to really consider.
Calming myself down before a tantrum starts is so powerful. If I have gotten started with a tantrum, I am like a runaway train. You just can't stop me at the point. I need to run my course and no matter what don't yell at me more.
The decision to start using fidgets is really tough. Anyone reading blog is free to give me input. I really need it. :)
I think everyone has to find their own way of dealing with over or under stimulation. Some people get bored and doodle. Others bite their pens. There may be more "acceptable" fidgets for you as an adult than for what you would have used as a child. I know a grown man (maybe in his sixties - I don't know, but he had gray hair) who used to play with silly putty in every meeting we had where I worked. And I have an adult friend - who is not on the spectrum - who wears a weighted blanket to sleep. Keep looking into your options. I think it's great that you can be aware of yourself so much that you know when you need to get the ants in your pants out - and you're finding socially acceptable ways to do that.
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