The past month of my life has been an absolute nightmare and it has taken until tonight for me to actually right down what has happened. Sometime towards the end of September, I came down with your average cold: sore throat and cough. Over the following days, it seemed as though I could not kick the cold. It turned into Bronchitis, my mom kept me home from work, and we went to see the doctor. What happened next, is something that I wish on absolutely no one.
On Wednesday October 3rd, I was prescribed Levaquin for what we thought was Bronchitis and possibly a UTI. I took my first dose of my antibiotic that night. I took the following day off of work and continued to take the antibiotic. Right after taking this medication on Friday October 5th, we headed up to Homecoming at Penn College. It was my first trip staying away from home, in a hotel, without my mom. As we traveled to Williamsport, I realized that my anxiety was increasing and my stomach was not feeling well. I typically have anxiety when I travel. The anxiety bothered me, but no more than expected.
Friday evening, I enjoyed time with old college friends, ate buffalo chicken dip, and called it a night. When I returned to the hotel, I got cuddled up in my pajamas, cuddled up in bed, and I tried to fall asleep. I soon realized that I was unable to relax myself enough to fall asleep and my heart began to race. Over the course of that night, I had 2 panic attacks and I thought I was going to die.
Saturday morning, I woke my father up around 6 because I felt like I couldn't function or stay alive without him. My father grabbed breakfast and I begged to head home despite the fact that there for several fun things to do that day. Upon arriving home, I couldn't do much more than move. My mother arrived home from a retreat and took me to see a doctor who reassured me that the medications I was on were fine and that my heart was fine.
On Monday October 8th, my mother contacted my Psychiatrist to see if he had any idea what was going on. He gave me a call later that day to share the news that there was absolutely nothing wrong with me or the Levaquin. He told me to keep taking my antibiotic and that it may just be messing with my anti-anxiety medication. He told me to give it 2-3 days to get out of my system and that I would be just fine. That Monday, I took the last dose of the medication I will ever take, despite the fact that I had one more dose to take.
On Thursday October 11th, I felt as though there was no way that I could function and go to work. With no ability to go to work and function, my mother took me in to see the doctor again. At the office, they performed an EKG (normal), and some blood work that came back a little abnormal, but nothing too worrisome. The doctor informed me that I just had a virus and felt miserable, despite the fact that I still felt like I was dying and felt as though I couldn't think straight.
I went back to work on Monday October 15th as I had no choice. I have already used half of my sick days for the entire school year. I went to work all week. Wednesday October 17th turned out okay and I thought I was on the mend. Thursday October 18th everything got bad again, but I had, had a CPR/First Aid training which could've increased my anxiety. By Saturday October 20th, my mother felt the need to take me to see a doctor again to get to the bottom of everything. More blood work was run and everything came back the same, if not a smudge better. The anxiety and stomach upset that I have had over the past 3 weeks has been terrible.
Last week, I finally informed my boss that I needed to stop doing the 2nd part of my job. I am no longer working for our after-school program. As I was working with a student today, I ran into one of my supervisors in the hall. She knows that I am not well and knows that I can't do after school anymore. The problem I sit hear with now is realizing that I probably looked great to my supervisor today, but the reality is that on the inside I'm suffering. Today was a great day too, but that doesn't mean that tomorrow will be. I plan on going to bed tonight and waking up perfect, but I realize that may not be the case. I struggle with this dilemma all time. I feel like others couldn't believe what I am saying based on how I look on the outside. The reality is that I am sick. I may not be coughing sick, but I am mentally not well and I have a virus. I don't like having something that looks so invisible to the naked eye. I don't like to upset others. I want the best for everyone and I try my best. I never want someone to think I am a wimp or think that I'm giving up too easily. I know no one is upset, but it must be so hard to understand something that is invisible. Please understand that I am suffering. Today was great, but tomorrow could be different. I will let the world know when I am well. Never take Levaquin!!!
