What's your superpower?

     Do you remember being a kid or even a teenager participating in large group activities? Often times you would have those ice breaker games and sometimes you would have to answer some silly questions. They were just questions to get to know you and it was fun. One question I distinctly remember having asked/answered on a number of occasions was, if you had a super power, what would it be? I would abruptly interrupt or if it was my turn just tell them that I already had a really cool superpower instead of actually answering the question. My superpower was double vision. True fact.
       Double vision was a pretty cool superpower to have. When I was in fourth grade I had eye surgery to correct a muscular problem. One of the side affects or risks of the surgery was double vision. The doctor never told us that a side affect was permanent double vision though. He only said it was temporary. It was one of those wait two weeks, then four weeks, then six weeks, then its just not going to go away deals. We would bring the concern up to my doctor, not because it interfered with daily life, but it had the chance to and it was just not right. Many teachers and professionals as well as my parents were amazed that it didn't give me more of a problem. It really wasn't much of a big deal to me and it was fun to use it to my advantage in ice breakers. The other day though, I got some not so great news from those who gave me superpowers.
     I went to the eye doctor on wednesday. They took me in a room and did some visual field testing which checks to see if you have peripheral vision. Then they tested me for glaucoma and who knows what else. I was sent into an exam room to wait on the doctor. Before you meet with the doctor, you meet with a technician instead of a nurse. This person checks your vision briefly to give you an estimate of your vision with your current prescription. Mine was 20/60 in my right eye and 20/70 in my left eye. 20/20 is normal. This means that what most people an see at 60 or 70 feet I can only see at 20 feet. These measurements fall in the low vision category. It wasn't that big of a deal because I thought I was getting new glasses.
     Did you see I put THOUGH i was getting new glasses? The doctor checked my eyes out and there was no prescription change. Now that doesn't necessarily mean good news. There were no prescription changes, but my eyes changed from 20/30 and 20/50 with best corrected lenses to 20/60 and 20/70 within a year just because of my retina's. The doctor compared my retina's to a low resolution DPI printer from like 20 years ago.
     That was pretty awful news. After she was done checking me she showed me some pretty cool devices that would help me see better. one thing was called a monocular. It was basically binoculars but with one lens. I peeked my right eye through the lens of that thing and I thought I was in heaven for a second. It felt so good to see like normal people see. It was so vividly clear. It was as heavenly as taking a bite of your favorite food without any guilt. I don't know; i don't have words to describe how I felt, but I was happy. They can't make those a prescription though. If only I could glue binoculars to my eyes.
     After we were done looking at low technology devices we went to look at some CCTV type devices. I'm hopefully getting a device that will help me read books better. It comes at a heft price though.
     I think the moral of this story is that I went to the eye doctor to get knew glasses and came out with some really low self-esteem. I thought better glasses would help. My vision is normal to me. Its not like one day I wake up and I'm blind. You get used to it, but knowing that something can be so much more and looking through binoculars just makes you feel awful about your current state. I'm not going to let this ruin my life goals or anything, but it does make them harder. It will especially make them harder as I get older and my vision gets worse. My eyes are stabilizing but my retina's aren't cooperating. I thought I was finally over the medical drama in my life with the seizures and all, but now this. I just want to be happy.