A shield: fixation

    I am a young woman who just so happens to have Asperger's Syndrome and a Generalized Anxiety Disorder. I also, just so happen to be in the process of moving. These two things don't go well together at all and have caused me to be fixated on everything. Given that I have Asperger's, I typically do get fixated on stuff, but lately I've been fixated on EVERYTHING.

     I am not always fixated on things to the extend that I am right now, but the fixations I have had lately are almost like a shield against all the changes I am going through: new bed, new room with purple walls, heck even the new house in general. I also tend to feed off of the stress of everyone else in my family too. The fixations aren't bad, but they are there and driving everyone crazy. I rather be fixated than anxious. If I am fixated, I can go to a happy place

   Two weeks ago, I was fixated on 4th of July. this one is a given since we have a party at our house every year. This year will be our last because, like I said, we are moving. I worried up until the actual party wondering if we would actually have anyone showing up. We ended up having 45+ people over to our house and we had a blast. As soon as the party was over, I was fixated on the next thing, Arts Fest.
 
     The previous week I was excited that a family friend would be coming to town to visit for a day and to see Art's Fest. Sadly it rained the day she was supposed to come, but I will see her in August. Not only was I fixated on having the friend over, but I was fixated on getting to see the tents and getting to have Art's Fest food: Scott's Roasting, Cowboy Kettle Corn, and lemonade.
 
      Once Art's Fest got here, I was fixated on the idea that I was going to see KJ on Sunday. KJ is a singer/guitarist who I grew up listening to at camp and she was coming to my neck of the woods. I got to see her and I even got my picture taken with her.

      Last Tuesday, I was fixated on the fact that I was supposed to be going to a family friend's house for dinner. I found out on Monday, that my father had to go out of town so we may have to reschedule. I was not having any of it because I was looking forward to dinner with friends and I don't like my schedule to change.
 
     When we finally decided we were going to the friends' house, I was fixated on the fact that we needed to bring and play Mexican Train Dominoes. My mother had to remind me a couple times that there were other younger kids there and it may be a little to chaotic for Mexican Train Dominoes.

     I'm always fixated on Frozen stuff. In fact my mother has to reel me in when i see something revolving around the snowman Olaf. My mother even made me a homemade Olaf blanket for Christmas and I still get pulled in towards the Olaf blankets at Walmart.

     At work, I'm fixated on everything to. As soon as I come in the door to work, I have to check to make sure all the cups are stocked, coffee drawers are filled, spoons dispensers are filled, and lastly write down what dates I need to take off for Dr. appointments or in the case of this week, write down my last day of work for the summer. God forbid I go and scoop ice cream until that was written down.

      The fixations aren't bad, but they really are a shield to protect me against the anxiety. Sometimes when i fixate, I feel fortunate. Other times fixations can get me upset. For example, if I fixate on something in my schedule and then it DOESN'T HAPPEN, that can be very bad. Maybe I just have a love hate relationship with them, but a few have saved my sanity.