Crisis

     It has been 10.5 weeks since I first got "sick" and I truly wish for no one else to go through what I have gone through. A lot has happened since October 5th, but unfortunately the story isn't over. I've had countless doctor's appointments, numerous emergency phone calls to the psychiatrist, several changes in medication and I have had new labels added to my diagnosis list. I'm not happy, but I think I'm finally getting healthier.

    Two weekends ago I went to into crisis mode. I don't think many people really actually understand what I mean when I say crisis. On Saturday I had gone to Altoona with my mother and a few family friends. Traveling to Altoona for shopping is usually a joyous occasion. I had a horrible time, lost my temper on someone, and my mom didn't know if I was going to make it through the day without completely losing it. On Sunday we went to see a doctor at the weekend clinic who could only tell me to go home and call my Psychiatrists office. By the grace of God, I was able to talk to my Psychiatrist.

    During our last emergency call to my Psychiatrist we completely rearranged the way I am taking my medications. Prior to getting sick I was taking an SSRI and an anxiolytic regularly. I would take a medication (not narcotic) to assist in my sleep as needed. Today I am taking that same sleep aid twice a day to literally keep my body from being in a fight or flight mode. The doctor has since added Trazodone to my medication regimen for sleep. It may only be one medication, but its really hard to think about the fact that something that used to knock me out for 12 hours at a  time is now being used to keep me from panicking during the day. It has been two weeks and things have stabilized.

      A couple of weeks ago I began seeing a new therapist to hopefully help work with the anxiety. When beginning with the therapist I was extremely cautious about my optimism given that I didn't think a therapist could possibly fix a problem that a medication caused. To this day I don't think therapy would have helped without the previously mentioned adjustment. Now that I have had a couple sessions, I am beginning to see major improvement. While the improvements have been nice, there has been an increase in diagnoses and I am still not the same person I was before I took Levaquin.

     Upon initial assessment my new Psychologist diagnosed me me with moderate Major Depressive Disorder. If anyone knows me, they know that I am anything but depressed. I'm probably one of the most outgoing people you could meet, but this is what medication has done to me. Since getting my medications adjusted, I have also been diagnosed with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder as well. During the period of such high anxiety, it was difficult to really see what all was going on until I could fully articulate everything. I, Simply J am absolutely not a diagnosis and I would wish the stuff I have gone through on no one. Please understand, I am doing well, I am healthy, but I am not the same. Please educate yourselves before you take medications. While I have Depression and OCD, they don't have me!!!