On Friday I sat in my living room typing away on my phone through messenger. I had seen a post by a friend that had me concerned. A few weeks prior to this post, a mutual friend had been hospitalized and then life-flighted to Geisinger. I hopped on and asked my friend if everything was okay based on her post and genuine concern for our mutual friend. My friend reassured me that everything was okay and that it had just been a rough week. She then added, "i also wanted to let you know that Emily isn't doing well". As I proceeded to as questions, she informed me that she really didn't think Emily was going to make it. Saturday, Emily at the mere age of 33 passed away surrounding by loved ones at Geisinger Medical Center. 33, less than 10 years older than me.
Fast-forward to this work week. I texted my direct supervisor to let her know that Emily had passed away. I truly didn't know if I was going to make it through Monday without falling apart at least once. I woke up Tuesday to be informed that it was a snow day. I didn't really want a snow day. I didn't want a day to wallow in tears and think about Emily. After having a great day Monday without falling apart, I didn't need to fall apart Tuesday. I hopped on Facebook in desperation that Sunny Days was possibly open. It wasn't, so I spent the day at home curled up with my family.
While the previous days had been hard and with Depression setting in, I became even more concerned about another snow day on Wednesday. I needed to keep my mind busy. I woke up at 6:30am to another email informing me that the schools were closed due to ice. I absolutely could not fall asleep, but something marvelous happened. I gave my old supervisor at Sunny Days a call to see if they were open. They were, and I decided to head in to visit everyone.
Heather, my friend who works at Sunny Days where Emily was a client before she became ill, had informed me a day or two earlier that they were putting a memory board together for Emily's viewing. The pictures they were using were from Emily's time at Sunny Days. I was super excited about this and allowed Heather to pull a pic of Emily and I from my Facebook page for the memory board.
When I arrived at Sunny Days on Wednesday, the staff were just putting together the memory board for Emily. Low and behold, they had forgotten to add the picture of me and Emily as they had planned. I asked Heather if she had forgotten to print it and informed her that it was okay if decided not to added. Heather had completely forgotten, but with a reminder from me, she added my pic in. After all the pictures were glued down, I was instructed to write a little note about my memories with Emily. Wednesday evening we had the viewing. I had never gone to a viewing before and I had never expected that the first viewing I went to would be for someone who was so young.
Wednesday was hard, but it was still a perfect day. We need remember that when things get hard, there is still a plan. I fully intended to go to work on Wednesday. God had other plans that he so beautifully orchestrated through a snow day. Had we not had the snow day, I would not have ended up at Sunny Days. If I wasn't able to go to Sunny Days, I would have never added my picture or written my message to/about Emily. The snow day also allowed me to grieve with the people who were closest to both me and Emily. The day concluded with her viewing and dinner with my parents.
Yes, I said earlier that Wednesday was a day of God giving me a little tap on the shoulder to remind me he was there. He beautifully orchestrated this day for me to grieve, but not be upset. It gave me a chance to ask question and hug and empathize with my Sunny Days family. This one day gave me that perfect chance to write something on Emily's memory board, allowing her mom to see that I am still part of the Sunny Days family and that I care deeply about the loss of her daughter who was so loved.
While the day was a great reminder that God is near, it was also a great reminder for things to come. Having never gone to a viewing or a funeral before, I had never seen a dead body. As soon as I Emily's face, my stomach turned. Looking at someone's body feels so unnatural and perfectly uncomfortable. I do believe that God made this so because we were not mental to live a mortal life. God originally created us to have eternal life. In that moment of seeing Emily's lifeless body, knowing her high spirit and energy, it showed me that there has to be life after death. Sometimes we doubt God and sometimes we really wonder about Heaven. Emily was not there in that body. Emily was completely gone. Someone who had such a happy demeanor and high energy does not just disappear. For I truly believe that Emily is in heaven with Jesus. Having these experiences has truly showed me how God is working through me and around me. He is ever present.
Emily, you were a beautiful soul that no one could ever forget. Anytime I walked into Sunny Days, your arms would start flailing and your legs would begin to kick. You had the biggest smile on your face, giggling with your arms stretched out for a hug. You would often times point to my belly as to ask if I was going to have a baby; you loved babies. When you became concerned about someone who you hadn't seen in a while you would reach your hand up asking if they were in Heaven. You my friend are in Heaven. I'll never forget you asking me about Grange fair as soon as the warm days of summer came. You also didn't go by a day without your ranch dressing on something. You will be missed. High Fly Emily!
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