Blinded

    We start out everyday at school with a class called transition. Its basically "circle time" for 18-21 year old special needs students. We talk about real life issues and how to deal with them. We talk about growing up and social skills. Last week there was a transition that had significant importance to me. We talked about how to join a conversation.

     We have four interns who decided to do some role playing for us. They did several skits to show us how to join a conversation and how not to join a conversation or group of friends. The first actor joined the group in a very exuberant and high energy way!!! It was very obvious that this was the wrong way to join a group, but then my classmates started noticing facial expressions too.

      Next they had a few people come in and stand quietly outside the circle. This was almost too far away. I got that also, but I wasn't sure why they didn't invite her in still. My classmates once again noted more facial expressions.

      Then they finally had one last person come in. This person stood quietly outside the group but was invited in. I completely understood her being invited in. She was verbally welcomed into the group, but once again I was blinded from the facial expressions and body language given. I clearly know some facial expressions though.

       I can tell you that I do know what a smile and a frown are. I know what it means to be happy and sad. I know what it looks like when something smells bad or if someone is angry. Its the more subtle stuff that I don't get. People have always told me I don't pick on body language, but I thought I did a decent job. After this week, I clearly don't.

     During that last skit a friend noticed a friendly smile and a wave as to say join in the group. I got the verbal cues, but I didn't notice the hand wave or the smile. To me, the faces seemed static. There was no real emotional change to the group. LIke I said I can recognize a smile means happy, but that would be the extent. I've seen people use those flash cards to teach facial expression, but that just doesn't work.

      I have probably said this before, but autism is a processing disorder. I knew this was something I needed to work on. There is just too much to look at that you brain selects what its going to focus on. For example here are somethings that your brain could focus on: spacial distance to the group, interruption, appropriate comments that apply to the conversation you are joining, the volume of your voice and theirs and clearly the facial expressions.

       I knew I had trouble with reading social situations, but to be perfectly honest, maybe I thought I had more trouble with applying than understanding. If I can't understand the facial cues that change so little how do you expect me to converse typically?