This week has been a week of accepting realities. I went to an eye opening conference that has taught me so much more about advocating for myself as I transition to becoming an independent adult. This conference had a ton high points, but it also had some low points. I had the opportunity to be in a community with people just like me and with people who I could relate to. I have had to except a whole lot of realities and responsibilities. I have had to accept the fact that I can do more than I think I can sometimes, but I have also realized some areas where I may struggle to overcome obstacles.
During the conference, I was put with a group of fifteen other young adults with a variety of disabilities. We had days packed full of fun stuff to do and learn. We worked in groups to create a presentation for the end of the week. I had a phenomenal time. In the evening we would gather with eighty-five other youth to do fun stuff. One night we did a massive scavenger hunt all over the conference center and the other night we had a big dance and game night. I had a blast meeting other individuals.
I also learned a lot of stuff this week. I learned that I can do more stuff for myself than I realize. There were people with all different disabilities who were living on there own. For instance I met several people who were wheelchair bound who live on their own If someone who isn't able bodied can live on their own, there is no reason I shouldn't be able to. I am very excited about learning to be more independent, but this week I have also learned about another really scary reality. I may have epilepsy.
In the beginning of the week, we were assigned to groups. During our group meetings, we would work on a project to present at the end of the week. I went to go present and I shared my story. When I sat down, I tried to pay attention, but I was very spacey and "deep" in thought!!! I remember thinking I don't want to have one of these "episodes" and next thing I know, I am walking around in the hall way and being assisted. I know I must have asked for help at some point, but I don't know how I asked for help. I have had several of these episodes through my teenage/adult years. They have either been called anxiety attacks or weird seizures. No doctor has ever been concerned about them though. They just happen. The other day when i had this episode we did the normal routine protocol; we called the doctor. Soon afterwards, we got a call back stating to go straight to the emergency room. I about freaked out.
I didn't understand why I was being sent to the ER. I'd had these episodes many times before and we had done the same thing. I was confused because it wasn't anything new. We got to the ER and we got help, but they couldn't do the EEG they just did the typical CT scan which pretty much defeats the point of the trip. The whole point was to get testing for a possible seizure. In the end the doctor decided that it was probably a seizure created by a history of epilepsy, fatigue, stress and an infection. I now need to consult with a neurologist.
Right now I am facing the fear of dealing with epilepsy again. I was young and was able to recover with very little memory of the events. Now that I am older I am able to understand more which makes it scarier. I have to accept the reality that I may need more assistance than I had originally planned. We fear the day that I have one of these when I am alone. How will I help my self. It was a pure miracle of god that I am able to get help and actually ask for it when I am somewhat incoherent. I hate to say unconscious because I obviously am conscious to some extent, but I remember very little of the event. Many people would think this is good, but when you are in one location and regain coherence in a new location, its scary.
The fact is I may never grow out of my seizure disorder. I may be able to go places by myself, but i never plan on being somewhere that I can't get help. Really the only place I am alone at any given time is home, but what if one happened when no one is home. I can't fear being home alone. I'm not going to die, but its something to think about.
Dickinson Mental Health Charity Ball
Sunday, July 29, 2012
Monday, July 9, 2012
Because I have Aspergers...
I really do have to say that I am really starting to enjoy the fact that I have Asperger Syndrome. There are a lot of cool things about it. I have a particular interest that will lead to a great career. I have been surrounded by individuals with special needs and individuals who work in the field. I am a really happy person and I really never was a snotty child. (Sorry a little bragging, but ask my mom) lol
I have always had an interest in different disorders. I have always had a good idea about different conditions. I know that everyone learns differently. Most people with aspergers are visual and like schedules. Most people with Williams Syndrome learn through music. This intense interest has really grabbed hold of me as I have gotten older. I now want to become an Occupation Therapist. I think this is great!!! My conditions has lead me in the right direction. I also want to go into public speaking and advocacy which is another plus.
Consider the fact that I have a learning disorder, I have been immersed in classes with other special needs kids pretty much my whole school career. I have been exposed to that population which in my opinion, has lead to greater acceptance. I have a passion for these individuals. I care about them and I want to help them. I currently work at an adult daycare and I love it!!! Then there is one other thing that about my aspergers that has lead me, probably further than any other aspect. The teachers I have had through my school career.
I have had good teachers and bad teachers. I have had good caregivers and bad caregivers. I have ran into bullies and I have run into friends. The people who have been nice to me, have kept me happy. The people who have been mean to me, have built me stronger. I think this has been a great aspect of having aspergers. I have had the experience of dealing with nice people and people who don't understand me. I am able to articulate how I feel about stuff. I feel that dealing with these situations and being able to understand them has made me grow. I have learned that I want to be like the nice people and treat the next generation better than my generation. Thats all there is to it!!! I want to give back in a way that I would want to be treated!!!
There are many different things, as you can see, that I love about having Aspergers. On the other hand, I really don't know what Aspergers holds for my future. I know I am young, but just like every child or young adult, you dream of having your own children. This is something I think about often. I love kids. They say the cutest things and are the most innocent thing on the planet. I think about this very often and about what my kids would be like when I grow up. I have to think about what my kids will have to deal with. They will have to deal with my quirks. Will I have enough emotional control? The most important question is, what will my children have to deal with? What will my brothers kids have to deal with?
Lets face it, I am a health nut!!! I'm not the losing weight type, but the worry wart about every condition known to man!!! Having aspergers really makes me think about my future and the next generations future. Not only do we have heart disease and diabetes to worry about, but now we have mental illness and autism to worry about. That's cool if there is a child who has aspergers, but what if they struggle more than me.
What about mental illness??? I have anxiety and others have had mental illness in the past!!! I have dealt with people who aren't happy. I don't want to pass unhappiness and struggle onto kids. Then I read these awful articles about different medications that have horrible side affects. What if I told someone that I am on a medication that basically guarantees a deadly disease as an adult? Now What? How do I deal with that in the future. Due to my bodies chemical balances due to a medication, will I pass those same chemical imbalances to my child!!! Will they then have the same problems just because i had abnormal balances???
The fact is that Aspergers and autism don't just have social deficits. I technically have a whole list of diagnosis that I really don't know what the future holds. I could definitely escape some issues, but to be perfectly honest, I have had pretty much every condition associated with aspergers. Some of which I talk about and some of which I rather not to discuss. The fact is that I am still growing, but we all think about our future. There is tons that will happen from now until then, but you need to think ahead. I have a bright future out there!!! I need to look at the positive side.
I have a great career path. There is possible public speaking involved. I am happy. I have a good network of support. I have a tight knit family. So what if I have certain medical conditions that could affect my future. Right now I am happy!!! :)
I have always had an interest in different disorders. I have always had a good idea about different conditions. I know that everyone learns differently. Most people with aspergers are visual and like schedules. Most people with Williams Syndrome learn through music. This intense interest has really grabbed hold of me as I have gotten older. I now want to become an Occupation Therapist. I think this is great!!! My conditions has lead me in the right direction. I also want to go into public speaking and advocacy which is another plus.
Consider the fact that I have a learning disorder, I have been immersed in classes with other special needs kids pretty much my whole school career. I have been exposed to that population which in my opinion, has lead to greater acceptance. I have a passion for these individuals. I care about them and I want to help them. I currently work at an adult daycare and I love it!!! Then there is one other thing that about my aspergers that has lead me, probably further than any other aspect. The teachers I have had through my school career.
I have had good teachers and bad teachers. I have had good caregivers and bad caregivers. I have ran into bullies and I have run into friends. The people who have been nice to me, have kept me happy. The people who have been mean to me, have built me stronger. I think this has been a great aspect of having aspergers. I have had the experience of dealing with nice people and people who don't understand me. I am able to articulate how I feel about stuff. I feel that dealing with these situations and being able to understand them has made me grow. I have learned that I want to be like the nice people and treat the next generation better than my generation. Thats all there is to it!!! I want to give back in a way that I would want to be treated!!!
There are many different things, as you can see, that I love about having Aspergers. On the other hand, I really don't know what Aspergers holds for my future. I know I am young, but just like every child or young adult, you dream of having your own children. This is something I think about often. I love kids. They say the cutest things and are the most innocent thing on the planet. I think about this very often and about what my kids would be like when I grow up. I have to think about what my kids will have to deal with. They will have to deal with my quirks. Will I have enough emotional control? The most important question is, what will my children have to deal with? What will my brothers kids have to deal with?
Lets face it, I am a health nut!!! I'm not the losing weight type, but the worry wart about every condition known to man!!! Having aspergers really makes me think about my future and the next generations future. Not only do we have heart disease and diabetes to worry about, but now we have mental illness and autism to worry about. That's cool if there is a child who has aspergers, but what if they struggle more than me.
What about mental illness??? I have anxiety and others have had mental illness in the past!!! I have dealt with people who aren't happy. I don't want to pass unhappiness and struggle onto kids. Then I read these awful articles about different medications that have horrible side affects. What if I told someone that I am on a medication that basically guarantees a deadly disease as an adult? Now What? How do I deal with that in the future. Due to my bodies chemical balances due to a medication, will I pass those same chemical imbalances to my child!!! Will they then have the same problems just because i had abnormal balances???
The fact is that Aspergers and autism don't just have social deficits. I technically have a whole list of diagnosis that I really don't know what the future holds. I could definitely escape some issues, but to be perfectly honest, I have had pretty much every condition associated with aspergers. Some of which I talk about and some of which I rather not to discuss. The fact is that I am still growing, but we all think about our future. There is tons that will happen from now until then, but you need to think ahead. I have a bright future out there!!! I need to look at the positive side.
I have a great career path. There is possible public speaking involved. I am happy. I have a good network of support. I have a tight knit family. So what if I have certain medical conditions that could affect my future. Right now I am happy!!! :)
Thursday, July 5, 2012
What Killed The Cat?
Yesterday we had a ton of people over to our house. We had several different clans. I'm pretty sure I can't even say families because we literally had huge extended families over. One of the mothers works for my mother. This is of course my1cent. She and her family stayed a bit later than everyone else since we are pretty darn close. The kids checked out our office and got to experience the heavenly weighted blanket, but man did I mess up!!!
For future reference, the phrase "curiosity killed the cat" SHOULD be called honesty killed the cat because let me tell you what!!! I am pretty sure I killed my favorite cat, my1cent last night through pure brutal honesty. There were several comments that I made about my1cent that totally just made her look like Cinderella in her rag instead of the beautiful princess.
Our kitchen is laid out with a counter, and island and a desk. Someone must've made some comment about the desk in our kitchen. My mom and, I admit, the rest of our family tends to use our desk as a junk collecting object. Someone must've made some comment about the desk or the counters in our kitchen which are made of the same material: a fashionable, yet gaudy pink. During this whole time, my1cent was standing in the kitchen with us conversing. I definitely decided to add my two cents to the conversation to save my mothers sanity.
My mom was saying about how she will never build a desk into her kitchen again because all it does is collect dust, or I mean junk. I told my mom not to worry because everyone has a place they do that. If there wasn't a desk there, that stuff would be laying somewhere else, all piled up together. I then proceeded to make a comment about the infamous cat table that sits in the entry way to my1cents house. The table is not an eating table, but a place where they put there cat food and groceries and odds and ends on. I said something along the lines that my1cent had a table just like our desk and that table was the cat table. That is when I killed the cat.
I also had shown her kids, her desk. They hadn't seen it before because she hasn't been working here that long. Her kids are cute little grade school kids who say the cutest things. The one daughter had come down stairs and was in aw!!! She said, "wow, mommies desk, its so organized. " I was thinking, "wow with all those sticky notes, but whatever. " I went and told her mom because I thought it was so cute. I had to chuckle too, which probably upset her. I should learn to never point out to others there cleanliness. After all I have to admit, I am not the most organized, myself. I killed the cat!!!
The fact is that I am the most brutally honest person you will me. I am the person that will correct the time and temperature if someone tells me the incorrect information. My brutal honesty is BRUTAL. Its also innocent beyond belief. I never try to hurt anyone nor do I realize I may be hurting someone until after the fact. As soon as I said the comment I realized that I totally killed that cat. Obviously my1cent loves me and will forgive me, but its best to practice good manners as I grow with people who do care and love me.
Once when I was in elementary school, a guidance counselor read a book to me. It wasn't about keeping stuff from people, but more about white lies. One particular experience I remember reading in the book was about homework. The example showed that you don't need to tell the teacher about someone not doing there homework fi they were sneaking by. You don't always need to be brutally honest. Now lets be honest, I should have learned from that lesson, but you don't always just learn a skill. Skills can take practice. I just might need a little more practice than others.
Lets admit I killed the cat.
For future reference, the phrase "curiosity killed the cat" SHOULD be called honesty killed the cat because let me tell you what!!! I am pretty sure I killed my favorite cat, my1cent last night through pure brutal honesty. There were several comments that I made about my1cent that totally just made her look like Cinderella in her rag instead of the beautiful princess.
Our kitchen is laid out with a counter, and island and a desk. Someone must've made some comment about the desk in our kitchen. My mom and, I admit, the rest of our family tends to use our desk as a junk collecting object. Someone must've made some comment about the desk or the counters in our kitchen which are made of the same material: a fashionable, yet gaudy pink. During this whole time, my1cent was standing in the kitchen with us conversing. I definitely decided to add my two cents to the conversation to save my mothers sanity.
My mom was saying about how she will never build a desk into her kitchen again because all it does is collect dust, or I mean junk. I told my mom not to worry because everyone has a place they do that. If there wasn't a desk there, that stuff would be laying somewhere else, all piled up together. I then proceeded to make a comment about the infamous cat table that sits in the entry way to my1cents house. The table is not an eating table, but a place where they put there cat food and groceries and odds and ends on. I said something along the lines that my1cent had a table just like our desk and that table was the cat table. That is when I killed the cat.
I also had shown her kids, her desk. They hadn't seen it before because she hasn't been working here that long. Her kids are cute little grade school kids who say the cutest things. The one daughter had come down stairs and was in aw!!! She said, "wow, mommies desk, its so organized. " I was thinking, "wow with all those sticky notes, but whatever. " I went and told her mom because I thought it was so cute. I had to chuckle too, which probably upset her. I should learn to never point out to others there cleanliness. After all I have to admit, I am not the most organized, myself. I killed the cat!!!
The fact is that I am the most brutally honest person you will me. I am the person that will correct the time and temperature if someone tells me the incorrect information. My brutal honesty is BRUTAL. Its also innocent beyond belief. I never try to hurt anyone nor do I realize I may be hurting someone until after the fact. As soon as I said the comment I realized that I totally killed that cat. Obviously my1cent loves me and will forgive me, but its best to practice good manners as I grow with people who do care and love me.
Once when I was in elementary school, a guidance counselor read a book to me. It wasn't about keeping stuff from people, but more about white lies. One particular experience I remember reading in the book was about homework. The example showed that you don't need to tell the teacher about someone not doing there homework fi they were sneaking by. You don't always need to be brutally honest. Now lets be honest, I should have learned from that lesson, but you don't always just learn a skill. Skills can take practice. I just might need a little more practice than others.
Lets admit I killed the cat.
Monday, July 2, 2012
Eye of The Storm
Last week I was on vacation as many of you know. I was at the beach enjoying my time with my family after driving for almost twelve hours. Instead of coming home right away we decided to stop in Williamsburg for a night. We stayed at Great Wolf Lodge and we were supposed to go on a ghost tour too, but thats when the storm hit!!!
My family had started our afternoon a the Great Wolf Lodge where we had a blast in the water park. We went down some huge slide and spent plenty of time in the wave pool and in the lazy river. After being in the humidity for a week, we were kind of ready to get out on the town. We went to the classic Cheese Shop for supper and attempted to go on a ghost tour. We checked in and then the storm hit!!!
As we were standing in line outside, waiting to "check in", we started seeing a bunch of lightning. The lightning was the typical cloud to ground lightning, but the horizontal stuff that many individuals call heat lightning. I on the other hand, being the weather expert knew this was not heat lightning as there is no such thing as that. I proceeded to get hung up on the idea of this huge storm when my dad decided to look up the weather. There was a HUGE thunderstorm coming our way. We got to the front of the line and mentioned that there was a storm brewing and that there was lightning in the sky. The tour guides response: well we do the storm in the rain, but not in the lightning. Lets wait a few minutes. I about freaked. I didn't want to go now because as she said this my dad also saw a severe thunderstorm warning pop-up.
We checked-in and we proceeded to join the rest of our group as we waited for others to get checked-in. The lightning continued and the wind picked up. We continued to complain about the storm and the tour guides response: well we have a river on either side of us; the storm normally goes up the river and we'll be fine. My opinion: you just said that we don't do the freaking tour in the lightning. We then proceeded move back over to the side and then my dads phone went crazy!!!
There was a tornado warning. A tornado warning means that a tornado has touched down within a certain proximity to that specified area and that it could be heading your way. We let them know and what did they do??? They decided to go hid under an umbrella and discuss what the heck they should do with us since they never had this happen before. Well first of all take us inside; you should at least know to seek shelter when there is a tornado. They finally refunded us and we went back to our car.
Once we were all settled in the car, the hail started. Yes, the hail started and the lightning continued with absolutely no thunder. We finally got back to our hotel and everyone had evacuated there hotel rooms and had gone to the basement for safety as instructed. The kids, pertaining to my brother, his friend and I. waited inside while we waited for our parents. Our parents finally got inside and the warning had been lifted. We then headed to bed. I really wanted to share this story because of my sensory issues and my anxiety. I do have to say I handled this situation fairly well.
In the beginning, when I first saw the lighting, I was just fixating on it. I would repeat over and over "wow there is more lighting" and "there is a lot of lightning within one minute, look" to which my parents told me that we were okay. Well the weather people tell me that you need to seek shelter when you hear thunder. That could be before you even see the lightning. I was a little anxious, but I hadn't started stimming or crying yet. Then we checked-in.
The idiot at the front who checked us in, really ticked me off. That is when my nasty attitude about the weather started. I was overwhelmed by people talking about tornados. I didn't want that to happen and I was convinced I was going to be caught in one. Well guess what I experienced hail for the second time in my life!!! I know i live in a very safe area of the country. I never really had a full meltdown which was pretty impressive. I did get a little loud, but that was about it.
I think I have come to the realization that my fear of storms is extremely complex. It starts with the knowledge of how dangerous storms are. I then start to perseverate on that information. It then continues with the sensory issues. The darkening of the sky which for me, is a huge change as I am sure it is for anyone really. Then the wind starts to blow which I can be a little sensitive, but I am typically okay. Is one of those weird issues that bothers me sometimes, but not others. Then the rain starts which I have a serious tactile aversion too. It literally makes my arms hurt when rain touched my skin. This is followed by the lightning and then the awful sound of thunder. This storm I got anxious, but i didn't get overwhelmed.
During this awful storm, I became anxious, but I didn't become overstimulated. There was no thunder to get me overly excited and there was no rain that hurt me. when I compare this storm to others that I have witnessed while enjoying the outdoors, I definitely see a strong correlation between my actual meltdowns and the rain and thunder. There was none of that when I was outside.
When we got back to the hotel, there was a lot of commotion. My anxiety immediately rose again when I heard the warning system going off. then there was the evacuation of the people coming from the basement. This caused more commotion for me and caused me more anxiety even though I was inside. We finally got up to our floor and I was ready to head back to our room. I distinctly remember my mother looking out the window into the waterpark as I followed behind. At that point I did jump up and flap a little bit. At that point I decided that it was okay. I would never see these people again and I was doing fairly well.
I think I have really learned a lot from this experience. Its not the sensory issues or the knowledge. Its not even the anxiety, but its everything combined. Let me say, that swing hanging above my entry would have really helped me to calm down. If I was anxious on my vacation that is where I went. I would close my eyes, deep breathe and lay back. :)
My family had started our afternoon a the Great Wolf Lodge where we had a blast in the water park. We went down some huge slide and spent plenty of time in the wave pool and in the lazy river. After being in the humidity for a week, we were kind of ready to get out on the town. We went to the classic Cheese Shop for supper and attempted to go on a ghost tour. We checked in and then the storm hit!!!
As we were standing in line outside, waiting to "check in", we started seeing a bunch of lightning. The lightning was the typical cloud to ground lightning, but the horizontal stuff that many individuals call heat lightning. I on the other hand, being the weather expert knew this was not heat lightning as there is no such thing as that. I proceeded to get hung up on the idea of this huge storm when my dad decided to look up the weather. There was a HUGE thunderstorm coming our way. We got to the front of the line and mentioned that there was a storm brewing and that there was lightning in the sky. The tour guides response: well we do the storm in the rain, but not in the lightning. Lets wait a few minutes. I about freaked. I didn't want to go now because as she said this my dad also saw a severe thunderstorm warning pop-up.
We checked-in and we proceeded to join the rest of our group as we waited for others to get checked-in. The lightning continued and the wind picked up. We continued to complain about the storm and the tour guides response: well we have a river on either side of us; the storm normally goes up the river and we'll be fine. My opinion: you just said that we don't do the freaking tour in the lightning. We then proceeded move back over to the side and then my dads phone went crazy!!!
There was a tornado warning. A tornado warning means that a tornado has touched down within a certain proximity to that specified area and that it could be heading your way. We let them know and what did they do??? They decided to go hid under an umbrella and discuss what the heck they should do with us since they never had this happen before. Well first of all take us inside; you should at least know to seek shelter when there is a tornado. They finally refunded us and we went back to our car.
Once we were all settled in the car, the hail started. Yes, the hail started and the lightning continued with absolutely no thunder. We finally got back to our hotel and everyone had evacuated there hotel rooms and had gone to the basement for safety as instructed. The kids, pertaining to my brother, his friend and I. waited inside while we waited for our parents. Our parents finally got inside and the warning had been lifted. We then headed to bed. I really wanted to share this story because of my sensory issues and my anxiety. I do have to say I handled this situation fairly well.
In the beginning, when I first saw the lighting, I was just fixating on it. I would repeat over and over "wow there is more lighting" and "there is a lot of lightning within one minute, look" to which my parents told me that we were okay. Well the weather people tell me that you need to seek shelter when you hear thunder. That could be before you even see the lightning. I was a little anxious, but I hadn't started stimming or crying yet. Then we checked-in.
The idiot at the front who checked us in, really ticked me off. That is when my nasty attitude about the weather started. I was overwhelmed by people talking about tornados. I didn't want that to happen and I was convinced I was going to be caught in one. Well guess what I experienced hail for the second time in my life!!! I know i live in a very safe area of the country. I never really had a full meltdown which was pretty impressive. I did get a little loud, but that was about it.
I think I have come to the realization that my fear of storms is extremely complex. It starts with the knowledge of how dangerous storms are. I then start to perseverate on that information. It then continues with the sensory issues. The darkening of the sky which for me, is a huge change as I am sure it is for anyone really. Then the wind starts to blow which I can be a little sensitive, but I am typically okay. Is one of those weird issues that bothers me sometimes, but not others. Then the rain starts which I have a serious tactile aversion too. It literally makes my arms hurt when rain touched my skin. This is followed by the lightning and then the awful sound of thunder. This storm I got anxious, but i didn't get overwhelmed.
During this awful storm, I became anxious, but I didn't become overstimulated. There was no thunder to get me overly excited and there was no rain that hurt me. when I compare this storm to others that I have witnessed while enjoying the outdoors, I definitely see a strong correlation between my actual meltdowns and the rain and thunder. There was none of that when I was outside.
When we got back to the hotel, there was a lot of commotion. My anxiety immediately rose again when I heard the warning system going off. then there was the evacuation of the people coming from the basement. This caused more commotion for me and caused me more anxiety even though I was inside. We finally got up to our floor and I was ready to head back to our room. I distinctly remember my mother looking out the window into the waterpark as I followed behind. At that point I did jump up and flap a little bit. At that point I decided that it was okay. I would never see these people again and I was doing fairly well.
I think I have really learned a lot from this experience. Its not the sensory issues or the knowledge. Its not even the anxiety, but its everything combined. Let me say, that swing hanging above my entry would have really helped me to calm down. If I was anxious on my vacation that is where I went. I would close my eyes, deep breathe and lay back. :)
Sunday, July 1, 2012
The Hugging Swing
The beach may have been a little anxiety provoking, but let me tell you what, I had some fun too. I spent a lot of time swimming in the pool, reading and of course I had my computer with me so I didn't lose my sanity. I also brought a puzzle along which my dad took over, but oh well I have a new one to start at home now too.
Everyday we would wake up around 8 and the boys would wake up in between 10 and 11. This was a good time to chill in our pajamas and wake up. I got my breakfast and spent sometime with my parents. Some mornings we went out and did stuff. One morning we went to an aquarium and met an albino turtle named Nimbus. Other days we decided to play mini golf.
Around lunch time everyday, the boys and I and sometimes my mom would hop in the pool to cool down. Mom would hop out while we were still swimming and make us a nice yummy lunch Eventually the boys would head back inside and I would get in my hugging swing. I did this everyday with a towel or blanket before I laid down to read and a take a nap. The first day it was just a swing, but then it turned into the hugging swing.
The hugging swing became my new best friend this week. I was able to curl up in a ball and squeeze myself into this hammock like hanging swing. It was different from your typical hammock. I was able to hop in it and sit indian style with my back laid back. It was start swing from side to side and I was able to relax. I found this swing to be calming. It kind of gave me a big hug or as therapists like to say that added pressure that I need to calm down. It really helped with my anxiety.
When I first started sitting in this swing, I thought it was the coolest thing around. I tried to keep my mouth shut though because I knew automatically that it was helping with sensory issues and people don't want to hear about that all the time. My mother finally figured out why I liked it so much. She then proceeded to comment on how amazed she was that this swing was really actually helping me and I felt hugged in it.
The fact is that you don't always need to go to those fancy sensory websites to get therapeutic stuff. Simple stuff like a beach hammock helps a whole lot. As long as I put a blanket on this wiry swing, I was calm and about ready to fall asleep.
Everyday we would wake up around 8 and the boys would wake up in between 10 and 11. This was a good time to chill in our pajamas and wake up. I got my breakfast and spent sometime with my parents. Some mornings we went out and did stuff. One morning we went to an aquarium and met an albino turtle named Nimbus. Other days we decided to play mini golf.
Around lunch time everyday, the boys and I and sometimes my mom would hop in the pool to cool down. Mom would hop out while we were still swimming and make us a nice yummy lunch Eventually the boys would head back inside and I would get in my hugging swing. I did this everyday with a towel or blanket before I laid down to read and a take a nap. The first day it was just a swing, but then it turned into the hugging swing.
The hugging swing became my new best friend this week. I was able to curl up in a ball and squeeze myself into this hammock like hanging swing. It was different from your typical hammock. I was able to hop in it and sit indian style with my back laid back. It was start swing from side to side and I was able to relax. I found this swing to be calming. It kind of gave me a big hug or as therapists like to say that added pressure that I need to calm down. It really helped with my anxiety.
When I first started sitting in this swing, I thought it was the coolest thing around. I tried to keep my mouth shut though because I knew automatically that it was helping with sensory issues and people don't want to hear about that all the time. My mother finally figured out why I liked it so much. She then proceeded to comment on how amazed she was that this swing was really actually helping me and I felt hugged in it.
The fact is that you don't always need to go to those fancy sensory websites to get therapeutic stuff. Simple stuff like a beach hammock helps a whole lot. As long as I put a blanket on this wiry swing, I was calm and about ready to fall asleep.
Vacation Whoa's
My family is a big traveling family. We really like vacations and we love trying new places which sometimes causes anxiety for me. Vacation paints a very different portrait for me and my mother though. My mother loves to travel and she loves the beach. I on the other hand, like the beach but I prefer the pool.
This summer our family decided that we were going to rent an awesome beach house in the "outer banks" or so we thought. We actually rented one in Emerald Isle which is to the south of the Outer Banks. It was a great place to vacation and a lot less tourist like then many other beaches. We had a nice house in a nice neighborhood with very little noise. Noise has always been a problem so this was a plus, but there were other things that bothered me.
Along with having Aspergers, I also have an anxiety disorder too. This is very common in individuals who are on the autism spectrum. I don't have a fear of anything special, but mine is more generalized. I can be fearful of anything from the ocean, to thunder storms, to even dying of a heart attack despite the fact that I am young and healthy. The beach is one location that causes me a lot of anxiety.
My mother once asked me whether I liked the ocean better or whether I liked the mountains better. Without a doubt I told her I like the mountains better. I have an extreme fear of the ocean which causes my generalized anxiety to rapidly increase when I am at the beach. I like the mountains better because they protect us from storms, they don't carry us away, and they are big, but you are actually able to picture where they start and end. An ocean is like a geometric line in my head. It is continuous.
This week was quite stressful to say the least. I spent a good bit of time by the ocean. I read and relaxed. I soaked up the sun although my skin sure doesn't show it. :( I also didn't want to go down a whole lot because it scares me. I absolutely hate rip-tides even though I have never been in one and I hate salt water. I have this awful fear of being swept away and getting salt water in my eyes and mouth. Forget about the sharks thats a whole different story.
When I was younger, my family used to cruise a lot, but now that I am older and can't participate in the children's clubs we have slowed down on our cruising. My parents would always choose to get a cabin with a balcony, but as I became older that had to come to a stop. My anxiety got in the way too much. I would fear silly stuff like falling or jumping over board. I wouldn't trust myself not to go crazy for some reason. Of course all of this was anxiety and FEAR (false emotions appearing real), but it had to stop
Overall my experiences with the ocean have not been great. I don't know what my moms history with the ocean has been like. I don't know, maybe that is where she went to get away from drama when she was a teen. Either way my brother got bit by a few crabs or I mean aliens this past week. :)
This summer our family decided that we were going to rent an awesome beach house in the "outer banks" or so we thought. We actually rented one in Emerald Isle which is to the south of the Outer Banks. It was a great place to vacation and a lot less tourist like then many other beaches. We had a nice house in a nice neighborhood with very little noise. Noise has always been a problem so this was a plus, but there were other things that bothered me.
Along with having Aspergers, I also have an anxiety disorder too. This is very common in individuals who are on the autism spectrum. I don't have a fear of anything special, but mine is more generalized. I can be fearful of anything from the ocean, to thunder storms, to even dying of a heart attack despite the fact that I am young and healthy. The beach is one location that causes me a lot of anxiety.
My mother once asked me whether I liked the ocean better or whether I liked the mountains better. Without a doubt I told her I like the mountains better. I have an extreme fear of the ocean which causes my generalized anxiety to rapidly increase when I am at the beach. I like the mountains better because they protect us from storms, they don't carry us away, and they are big, but you are actually able to picture where they start and end. An ocean is like a geometric line in my head. It is continuous.
This week was quite stressful to say the least. I spent a good bit of time by the ocean. I read and relaxed. I soaked up the sun although my skin sure doesn't show it. :( I also didn't want to go down a whole lot because it scares me. I absolutely hate rip-tides even though I have never been in one and I hate salt water. I have this awful fear of being swept away and getting salt water in my eyes and mouth. Forget about the sharks thats a whole different story.
When I was younger, my family used to cruise a lot, but now that I am older and can't participate in the children's clubs we have slowed down on our cruising. My parents would always choose to get a cabin with a balcony, but as I became older that had to come to a stop. My anxiety got in the way too much. I would fear silly stuff like falling or jumping over board. I wouldn't trust myself not to go crazy for some reason. Of course all of this was anxiety and FEAR (false emotions appearing real), but it had to stop
Overall my experiences with the ocean have not been great. I don't know what my moms history with the ocean has been like. I don't know, maybe that is where she went to get away from drama when she was a teen. Either way my brother got bit by a few crabs or I mean aliens this past week. :)
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