This is the biggest event that has happened during my life time other than 9/11 and the V-tech shooting. I was old enough to remember 9/11, but I was too young to watch the news or no the details. I was a little kid. On the other hand, during the V-Tech shooting, I was just old enough to understand what had happened and I thought the man was crazy.
Friday was a typical day for me, if you can say any of my days are typical. I have a smart phone so I can go on facebook anytime I want to. I was walking on campus when I decided to check facebook. The first thing I saw was about the stuff happening in Connecticut. I kept searching through facebook and that was all I could see, so I decided to see what had happened. Let me tell you, the day before we had a stabbing in our tiny little town. The stabbing was more a cut to someone's throat that sent them to the emergency room for stitches. It was small, but in a small scale community, it was a large event.
I went to my search engine and I typed in a news site. Breaking News, it read at the top. I looked to see what the story was and the story had the statistics of the massacre already listed. My little aspie brain didn't really no how to react. I was kind of in a daze thinking about the fact that facebook wasn't over populated like this during the aurora shooting and facebook wasn't like this during the Gabby Giffords event either. I personally was scared of thunderstorms all through childhood, so I knew the news people liked creating drama. I thought selfishly to myself that they don't need to create so much drama. I realized this and thought about it more and I thought about the facet that I was selfish, but also caring.
They don't need the drama, but its not because I am sick and tired of hearing about it. They don't need it because the Connecticut population needs time to recoup after the tragedy. I'm sure if something large happened to anyone of my friends, they would want some privacy. Hello HIPAA. Think about it though. Some pregnant women don't want friends to visit them in the hospital after delivery. Now think about how these families just lost there child and they sure don't need the media following them either.
As days past, the story got bigger. When the headline came through that the man who killed all those children had aspergers, my heart sunk. I was now going to be labelled as someone who could commit such awful crimes as killing people. It felt awful. This christmas eve we are going to have guests over that we have over every year, but they are brining a friend with them. I am constantly thinking about what that person will think about me and my quirks. What if he asks questions? The family knows I have aspergers. when he finds out, he'll surely be like, wow I was just at a murderers house. Its really hard being put with that group of people.
Next, the worst thing happened to me. A facebook friend posted some moronic status about how her son could surely kill her in the future because he has aspergers and he is violence. This caused a ton of outrage including a psychiatrists wife to comment, when her own daughter has autism. This friend then proceeded to bring up come backs telling us that her sons 60 year old teacher wasn't educated and she was trying to educate the public. So, she thinks by telling people that her son could be a mass murderer is going to educate the public more and have them become more accepting. I was outraged by this. I'm already having trouble coping with the fact that I won't have the aspergers label next year, I don't need people to be scared of me. If this lady thinks this stuff, I can't imagine what the public thinks.
To make things worse, I am a complete loud mouth. I don't know when to shut up about stuff. I will share with anyone who is willing to listen, that I have aspergers,which has always been a problem. Now what will happen if I tell someone that doesn't understand? They will compare me to Adam.
Yes, I care about the families that are suffering right now, but right now I am lost too. Aspergers used to be a part of me and I was happy to advocate for others and educate. Now I am scared too and I'm not sure what my purpose of having aspergers is. Maybe its just to prove that we aren't violent. I've already started proving that we are happy.
As days past, the story got bigger. When the headline came through that the man who killed all those children had aspergers, my heart sunk. I was now going to be labelled as someone who could commit such awful crimes as killing people. It felt awful. This christmas eve we are going to have guests over that we have over every year, but they are brining a friend with them. I am constantly thinking about what that person will think about me and my quirks. What if he asks questions? The family knows I have aspergers. when he finds out, he'll surely be like, wow I was just at a murderers house. Its really hard being put with that group of people.
Next, the worst thing happened to me. A facebook friend posted some moronic status about how her son could surely kill her in the future because he has aspergers and he is violence. This caused a ton of outrage including a psychiatrists wife to comment, when her own daughter has autism. This friend then proceeded to bring up come backs telling us that her sons 60 year old teacher wasn't educated and she was trying to educate the public. So, she thinks by telling people that her son could be a mass murderer is going to educate the public more and have them become more accepting. I was outraged by this. I'm already having trouble coping with the fact that I won't have the aspergers label next year, I don't need people to be scared of me. If this lady thinks this stuff, I can't imagine what the public thinks.
To make things worse, I am a complete loud mouth. I don't know when to shut up about stuff. I will share with anyone who is willing to listen, that I have aspergers,which has always been a problem. Now what will happen if I tell someone that doesn't understand? They will compare me to Adam.
Yes, I care about the families that are suffering right now, but right now I am lost too. Aspergers used to be a part of me and I was happy to advocate for others and educate. Now I am scared too and I'm not sure what my purpose of having aspergers is. Maybe its just to prove that we aren't violent. I've already started proving that we are happy.
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