Glitches

     Glitches! I haven't been having any meltdowns lately, but I have been having glitches quite frequently. Growing up, I would have meltdowns when things changed, when there were thunderstorms or when there were sirens. Close family and friends tell me I cried when I saw stuffed animals too, but I don't remember that. As I've grown older, the meltdowns have become less frequent and less intense. The last time I had a bad meltdown was probably back in October. I'm happy I don't have meltdowns very often, but the glitches can leave too.
     Once returning home from school for the summer, I picked up hours at my ice cream scooping job. After dealing with personal issues last summer and the chaos at the ice cream scooping job, my boss wanted to start me out at 4 hours a day which isn't bad, in fact it was perfect. This week I will increase to 5 hours a day. :) The 4 hours that I have been working, have been right in the middle of the day. I normally arrive home around 3 o'clock in the afternoon. This week, I will probably start arriving home around 5.
     Upon arrival, my mother usually comes upstairs from the business she runs in our basement. Sometimes my parents like to take a nap and sometimes they like to go out to a movie or do something fun together. As of late, I've come home and had a glitch. The glitches aren't meltdowns, but little blips on the radar as opposed to smooth sailing. Think of the glitches as little waves in the ocean and the meltdowns as the big wave or a tsunami. Most of the time, I irrationally get annoyed with my mother for something, she goes on her way and does what she wants to, I rest and everything is right with the world again. There is no arguing or back talk, she knows not to do that.
     Don't get me wrong when I say that my mothers knows not to argue with me. For people with autism, it doesn't necessarily mean that we are getting away with what we want; for people with autism, it means that there is not rationalizing with us when we are set in our ways. Often times I like to think about the irrational moments in our lives as a run-away train that no one can stop. Give us time and we will come around and learn from the situation.
      These meltdowns are much different from the typical tantrum a child has. For the typical child, it means trying to get something they want and trying to have control. For the child on the spectrum, a meltdown means that something has overwhelmed them or upsetter them an they need to reboot. The most important thing to do when we have a glitch or a meltdown is to give us space and we will come to us when we are ready. People in my past have insisted on rationalizing with me, which has in turn scared them in the end. I have never acted in an aggressive manner, but I have gotten loud, used bad language and by doing so have scared the untrained individual.
     I don't like that I am a young adult and these happen, but it's the honest to goodness truth. Sometimes it happens.