Yes!!! I did just say that I have to choose my identity. I promise, I am not deciding whether I am a boy or girl, or if I hate myself or love myself. Its much different than that. Aspergers is a tough diagnosis to deal with considering it is very new. I much rather deal with add or tourette syndrom. I know that's awful to say that, but let me explain. I am also turning into a young adult right now and with that comes more responsibility regarding who you are and how you are going act.
I plan on going to college next year. When you are in high school, you have an individual education plan that states that I am on the autism spectrum, what it means, accommodations I need in school and the goals I should meet each year. When you head off to college, you fill out an application like everyone else. Once you have applied, you need to contact the office of disability services and they will provide what you need. You don't let the admissions office know you have a disability and there is no learning support room that you go to. Know students will know you have a disability. The dilemma I am facing right now is whether I am going to J and admit I am a little quirky, J poor me I have aspergers, or just J a typical college student trying to find the ropes.
As a child I had and still feel the need to explain my self quite literally. If someone doesn't understand why I keep interrupting or monopolizing the conversation, I feel compelled to tell them I have aspergers which no only throws them off, but monopolizes the conversation even more until I explain myself. There is this part of me that has to explain everything. Lately I have gotten into this repetitive circle where I even obsess about obsessing where I even have to explain that I am obsessing and I can't help it.
Right now I am facing a dilemma. When I was a child, I was obviously different. I was much more immature and awkward than my peers. I will never forget reading an observation report a psychologist did that state I laugh awkwardly. My friends new I was different and that I had a disability. I kind of want to start out on a clean slate now though. I want to be J. Just uniquely J. I want the disability because it is an important part of me and if I didn't have it, I probably wouldn't understand some stuff I know now nor would I have a strong career goal at this age.
There is a huge problem with starting on a clean slate when I get to college. You wanna know what that is??? Facebook!!!! This blog has been a huge part of growing up for me. This blog has really bridged the gaps between the autism world and the normal world. It has been a stress reliever and a coping mechanism. Once again the problem arises that I am obsessive and want to explain everything. I want to create greater awareness, yet be excepted. If I don't explain myself, people think I'm weird. If I have a diagnosis they think I am an alien. If they see my blog and that I cry at the sound of a siren, only god knows what they'll think, but I continue to insist on posting this entries on facebook. Probably half the pages on my facebook profile have to do with disabilities. Do you think I am a freak now?
Lets face it!!! The internet has become a problem. When I go to college, I will make friends, but when they ask if I have facebook, should I tell them? If I tell them, they will want to be friends with me and they will probably shun me because I have aspergers. They will all the sudden think I am weird just because I have this label or sticker on me. Now I know why person first language is so important. People who are not exposed to individuals with disabilities have no idea how important person first language is. If I tell those people that I don't have facebook they will think I am crazy and that I have been placed in the wrong generation.
Lets face it. This is a lesson that all of us can learn from. Even you weird neurotypicals. Don't put stuff online that you will regret. I will be permanently scarred with the label aspergers because I put it out there. People who I haven't even told I have aspergers face to face, know I have it. It may explain stuff for the education, but for the uneducated, it will throw them off. I wan to start from a clean slate, but I'm not sure how to get started. I really need to think this through. When I hit college and my disability is hidden by the confidentiality rules of the office of disability services, I want to hide it myself, but I don't know if I have a choice. I have made a decision that will affect me for the rest of my life.
Dickinson Mental Health Charity Ball
Sunday, November 27, 2011
Friday, November 25, 2011
Thinking through and being rude
I have always said that autism is a processing disorder and once again it holds true. Many individuals with autism come off as rude, but they are probably the most polite individuals with the best of intentions. Those comments that are blunt, are to help you. Those questions that we ask so directly are to process through what is happening around us.
The past couple days I think I have finally figured out the problem, but yet its not something you can explain. My mom always tells me that my questions are intimidating, lets say. For example, instead of saying, "Hey mom are we still going to walmart tonight", I always will say, "weren't we going to walmart tonight" as if she had done something wrong.
Now lets take a real example I ran into last night. As I was crying off of lack of stimulation last night, I was asking my mom about going to the movies. We were supposed to see the Muppets as a family or some other movie that we could agree on. My mother told me that my brother was supposed to be asking me and my dad about it and to go ask him. I went down the hall, knocked on his bedroom door and he answered My response, "Weren't you supposed to look up the movie schedule and let us know what was going on?" In response to that he then went on to say that we wasn't going to go to the movie because I had an attitude. Instead I could have hinted by asking, "were there any movies you wanted to see tonight?'
Today I thought about what had happened last night. My brother was supposed to have his intercom plugged in, but it wasn't. Yes, we have an intercom, because my brother refuses to come out of his room for anything other than food and to use the restroom. Anyway, I was told to call him to see what was going on that his intercom wasn't on. Instead of saying, "you should have your intercom on, mom was trying to reach you," I said, "Is your intercom working?"
The slight way we can change what we say changes so much more. It changes the way we come across. It can even change ones first impression of you depending on the situation. Today, my mom and I were at barnes and noble and she let me know that I did it the right way some how. I told her I don't know how I did it. Its like putting a rubix cube back together, but you don't know how you did it. You just do it. I just need to think before I say stuff.
As my third grade teacher had a poster in her room. It said think, think, think before you say or do. Individuals with autism just need to work harder on this.
The past couple days I think I have finally figured out the problem, but yet its not something you can explain. My mom always tells me that my questions are intimidating, lets say. For example, instead of saying, "Hey mom are we still going to walmart tonight", I always will say, "weren't we going to walmart tonight" as if she had done something wrong.
Now lets take a real example I ran into last night. As I was crying off of lack of stimulation last night, I was asking my mom about going to the movies. We were supposed to see the Muppets as a family or some other movie that we could agree on. My mother told me that my brother was supposed to be asking me and my dad about it and to go ask him. I went down the hall, knocked on his bedroom door and he answered My response, "Weren't you supposed to look up the movie schedule and let us know what was going on?" In response to that he then went on to say that we wasn't going to go to the movie because I had an attitude. Instead I could have hinted by asking, "were there any movies you wanted to see tonight?'
Today I thought about what had happened last night. My brother was supposed to have his intercom plugged in, but it wasn't. Yes, we have an intercom, because my brother refuses to come out of his room for anything other than food and to use the restroom. Anyway, I was told to call him to see what was going on that his intercom wasn't on. Instead of saying, "you should have your intercom on, mom was trying to reach you," I said, "Is your intercom working?"
The slight way we can change what we say changes so much more. It changes the way we come across. It can even change ones first impression of you depending on the situation. Today, my mom and I were at barnes and noble and she let me know that I did it the right way some how. I told her I don't know how I did it. Its like putting a rubix cube back together, but you don't know how you did it. You just do it. I just need to think before I say stuff.
As my third grade teacher had a poster in her room. It said think, think, think before you say or do. Individuals with autism just need to work harder on this.
Thursday, November 24, 2011
A Hangover
Yup!!! I know you think I am crazy, but I really am not. I am not talking about alcohol and partying, but something a little more serious in my world and the autistic world. The holidays are arriving and let me tell you, its hard for aspies in a totally different way. It has been a rough week to say the least, but I am pulling through.
Yesterday I wrote a post that was very emotional to me. The day had a rough start that included a friend coming over with a lot of stress and as well as her daughter who hung out with me. It also included an appointment cancelled for the second time and fortunately no meltdown. Unfortunately, you must of all seen it coming, I had a minor meltdown today.
On Tuesday night, we got a phone call that would change my perspective on life and social responsibility. I was very excited to get together with a friend, but I just had this feeling that something was going to go wrong. It had to be instinctive. around 8 o'clock at night, we got a phone call from my mom's coworker stating that she would be coming in a half hour late because her kids were in a car accident with their father. My mom told her she didn't have to come in, but she insisted because she is just that amazing. She came in and brought her daughter in. It turned out to be a good day, but with some bumps.
Above I said that the situation affected my social responsibility. I have empathy in some areas, but I don't when it comes to crashes. I have never had a close friend be put in such danger. I have had friends of friends have cancer. I have heard of people being in crashes, but no one ever so close as recently. Recently the director of a camp I go to was diagnosed with cancer. I always got annoyed about the pink ribbon because it was everywhere; it was even on a cement truck. The day I found out a friend had cancer, pink had a whole new meaning.
Tuesday night was the first time I had ever had a friend involved in a car crash. It was devastating, but all I cared about was myself and being with my friend tomorrow. Today I need to take more responsibility. I think that everyone struggles with thinking about themselves to some extent. I need to think about this family. Not only the physical wounds they suffered, but the emotional wounds they suffered. I need to think about what could have happened. What if this family came to my house just for me even though they had concussions that needed to be monitored, I need to pay attention to what they need more than what I want.
Wednesday morning, she was supposed to arrive around 9. We got a call at 8:06 in the morning. I knew the time dog on it because I had almost expected that she would call. I sat beside my mom praying she was coming in because of my own selfishness. I hadn't cared what was wrong with anyone; I wanted her here because she was bringing her daughter for me to hang out with. The night before I had this thought that no one would show up and the appt would be cancelled for some reason. They ended up showing up at 9:15. I was in heaven, but that was not the end.
My1cent came in not upset, but you could tell she was out of it. She was ready to work and get her mind off of the thoughts from the night before. The same night they had another family emergency she was dealing with that dealt with extended family. That didn't help at all. My mom decided to teach my1cent how to make gravy and get work done. They couldn't tell me a time that she was leaving or that I would lose the friend for the day that I had over. My friend and I went ahead with our fun and made cookies. All was great.
We started making cookies and then my mom invited me to head downstairs to chat. She needed to tell me that we had to cancel my doctors appt because of conflicting schedules. I will remember that right in front of my friend and my1cent, my head tilted back, I breathed in and water came down my face. That was it and mom told me to leave the room and go upstairs. I handled myself so well considering the circumstances. I still didn't know when they were leaving darn it!!!
We eventually went out to eat at our favorite pizza place in town before my mom had to leave to do something with my brother. I stayed with my moms employee and her daughter to finish the meal. my1cent told me we had a date with sweet tea after lunch was over. We headed out to get the sweet tea, went to walmart to grocery shop because my1cent had to do that after the family emergencies caused schedule issues. We then proceeded to goof off in walmart and look at all different stuff.
Afterwards, we were supposed to go to barnes and noble as a treat for keeping on task in the store. We ended up going to the party outlet and she let us get rock candy which was amazing and my family was thrilled to have some including my mom and my brother. Thanks My1cent they all loved it. We ended the day with that.
Today, well it was an interesting day. I have trouble sleeping and I could swear I depend on my senses to function in this world. I haven't slept well and yesterday was very overstimulating but good at the time. it wasn't pleasant when I went to bed despite the fact that a I took melatonin: a natural sleep aid used for autistic individuals. I ended up dozing in the living room while watching disney movies this morning. It was as if it was a hangover. I was overstimulated yesterday and this was the residual affect.
Holiday are never good for me. They are unstructured, we don't have much family and nothing is open to keep me stimulated; as I said before I depend on stimulation. Today I didn't have enough stimulation. Not only was I a mess this morning with just wanting to sleep, but the day ended with a meltdown because I was suffering from withdraw from overstimulation. I was overstimulated then under stimulated way too fast. It created a meltdown, I just started crying for no apparent reason. I went to my room and continued. No matter if it is a schedule or stimulation, it needs to stay normal. I guess its just something to work on. Lets hope for a better day tomorrow.
Yesterday I wrote a post that was very emotional to me. The day had a rough start that included a friend coming over with a lot of stress and as well as her daughter who hung out with me. It also included an appointment cancelled for the second time and fortunately no meltdown. Unfortunately, you must of all seen it coming, I had a minor meltdown today.
On Tuesday night, we got a phone call that would change my perspective on life and social responsibility. I was very excited to get together with a friend, but I just had this feeling that something was going to go wrong. It had to be instinctive. around 8 o'clock at night, we got a phone call from my mom's coworker stating that she would be coming in a half hour late because her kids were in a car accident with their father. My mom told her she didn't have to come in, but she insisted because she is just that amazing. She came in and brought her daughter in. It turned out to be a good day, but with some bumps.
Above I said that the situation affected my social responsibility. I have empathy in some areas, but I don't when it comes to crashes. I have never had a close friend be put in such danger. I have had friends of friends have cancer. I have heard of people being in crashes, but no one ever so close as recently. Recently the director of a camp I go to was diagnosed with cancer. I always got annoyed about the pink ribbon because it was everywhere; it was even on a cement truck. The day I found out a friend had cancer, pink had a whole new meaning.
Tuesday night was the first time I had ever had a friend involved in a car crash. It was devastating, but all I cared about was myself and being with my friend tomorrow. Today I need to take more responsibility. I think that everyone struggles with thinking about themselves to some extent. I need to think about this family. Not only the physical wounds they suffered, but the emotional wounds they suffered. I need to think about what could have happened. What if this family came to my house just for me even though they had concussions that needed to be monitored, I need to pay attention to what they need more than what I want.
Wednesday morning, she was supposed to arrive around 9. We got a call at 8:06 in the morning. I knew the time dog on it because I had almost expected that she would call. I sat beside my mom praying she was coming in because of my own selfishness. I hadn't cared what was wrong with anyone; I wanted her here because she was bringing her daughter for me to hang out with. The night before I had this thought that no one would show up and the appt would be cancelled for some reason. They ended up showing up at 9:15. I was in heaven, but that was not the end.
My1cent came in not upset, but you could tell she was out of it. She was ready to work and get her mind off of the thoughts from the night before. The same night they had another family emergency she was dealing with that dealt with extended family. That didn't help at all. My mom decided to teach my1cent how to make gravy and get work done. They couldn't tell me a time that she was leaving or that I would lose the friend for the day that I had over. My friend and I went ahead with our fun and made cookies. All was great.
We started making cookies and then my mom invited me to head downstairs to chat. She needed to tell me that we had to cancel my doctors appt because of conflicting schedules. I will remember that right in front of my friend and my1cent, my head tilted back, I breathed in and water came down my face. That was it and mom told me to leave the room and go upstairs. I handled myself so well considering the circumstances. I still didn't know when they were leaving darn it!!!
We eventually went out to eat at our favorite pizza place in town before my mom had to leave to do something with my brother. I stayed with my moms employee and her daughter to finish the meal. my1cent told me we had a date with sweet tea after lunch was over. We headed out to get the sweet tea, went to walmart to grocery shop because my1cent had to do that after the family emergencies caused schedule issues. We then proceeded to goof off in walmart and look at all different stuff.
Afterwards, we were supposed to go to barnes and noble as a treat for keeping on task in the store. We ended up going to the party outlet and she let us get rock candy which was amazing and my family was thrilled to have some including my mom and my brother. Thanks My1cent they all loved it. We ended the day with that.
Today, well it was an interesting day. I have trouble sleeping and I could swear I depend on my senses to function in this world. I haven't slept well and yesterday was very overstimulating but good at the time. it wasn't pleasant when I went to bed despite the fact that a I took melatonin: a natural sleep aid used for autistic individuals. I ended up dozing in the living room while watching disney movies this morning. It was as if it was a hangover. I was overstimulated yesterday and this was the residual affect.
Holiday are never good for me. They are unstructured, we don't have much family and nothing is open to keep me stimulated; as I said before I depend on stimulation. Today I didn't have enough stimulation. Not only was I a mess this morning with just wanting to sleep, but the day ended with a meltdown because I was suffering from withdraw from overstimulation. I was overstimulated then under stimulated way too fast. It created a meltdown, I just started crying for no apparent reason. I went to my room and continued. No matter if it is a schedule or stimulation, it needs to stay normal. I guess its just something to work on. Lets hope for a better day tomorrow.
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Defying Odds, Determination, and true friends
Let me just start off by saying that the last week has been a bit rocky. There hasn't been anything too big going on, other than something I will touch on in a bit. It has been a lot of ups and downs about little stuff that just makes me wish I didn't have mental health issues.
My mom always tells me to knock it off when I say I have a mental illness and such. I have autism and an anxiety disorder. Can you blame me when I say that? Now, yes I do have some issues and no they aren't bad, but they are significant enough to affect me on a daily basis. Right now I am going through one of those times where I wish everything was perfect.
Issues started arising last week when we had to cancel an appointment with my therapist. That was not cool, especially when it was the day of the appointment. On that day, I shed a few tears, but no major tantrum. Yay!!! On the other hand, I feel like there have been a lot of changes going on. I DON'T DEAL WELL with the HOLIDAYS. I absolutely love them, but they are hard. Holidays give me extended periods of time with little structure. Most people consider them to be hard emotionally. With me, the unstructured activity causes anxiety to come back. It causes enough for me to think I need more medication, but since I am educated and aware, I know it will pass and that I will be okay.
Over the years I was diagnosed with everything from a learning disability, adhd, to autism. It was a struggle to find a diagnosis. We finally learned about aspergers and had me tested. When most people hear their child has autism, it scares them and saddens them. For my parents, it was a relief and an answer. Along with this diagnosis, also come a misunderstanding. This year I am in a class with kids on all different levels, which leads to everyone being treated the same. If I am told I can't do something, I feel I can.
I know several months back, I talked about the driving being an obstacle. Yes, it was an obstacle, but it wasn't something I was too thrilled with anyway. Over the years I had been told there was always that possibility that I wouldn't be able to. In my class there have been some things that I have been told that would be hard to do. I did them anyway. I still have determination. I have grown so much lately, but today was a different story. I love to defy odds and if someone tells me I can't do something, it makes me want to try even harder to prove them wrong.
Today was a rough day to say the least. Unfortunately a dear friend of mine had three/four family members get in a car accident. There was possible hydroplaning, but no one knew what happened. To be perfectly honest, I have been lucky to not run into this situation. It was heartbreaking to hear the news, but I also acted very selfish towards this as ironically, I was going to see them today. No one was hurt bad, just a couple of bumps, bruises and scratches. They were checked out by a nurse and they were okay.
Today, I had off school for thanksgiving. It was supposed to be a great day with a friend in the morning and a dr. appointment in the afternoon. It was going to be my mom's coworkers daughter. My mom owns her own business that is run from her basement. All my1cent had to do was bring her daughter to work. Unfortunately this family was the family involved in a car accident last night. No one was injured, but they were all shaken up. I don't deal well with change and especially last minute. My mom talked to her last night, and everything was okay, but they didn't know what was to happen. They left me hanging, but this is where I get selfish.
Due to a lack of empathy in some areas, all I thought about was how rotten my day was going to be with out a fantastic friend to hang out with. I didn't think about how scared their family was and that everyone was if not physically hurt, but emotionally. I have to say that I hate change and obsessive thoughts and behaviors. This is where I hate mental illness. It hurts and makes me look selfish. I have no empathy for others. all I cared about was getting to see friends.
Today, They ended up coming. They came in the morning and worked and then we went out to eat with my mom before she had to go to a meeting. My dr. appt was cancelled, but that is okay. I think I got a little recreational and shopping therapy today anyway. After lunch my1cent took me out to run errands and have fun. My mom told me afterwards that I deserved it because I handled the chaos well. Let me just say that today wasn't easy for anyone and its too complex to explain.
Despite the confusion I had tons of fun with not only my friend, but then her mom took me out for some retail therapy. We started the day by making amazing chocolate chip cookies. Did I tell you how amazing they were? Then we played some wii, discussed our schedule and did more discussing of the schedule.
In the afternoon we decided to have some fun. We went out to lunch. Then we stopped at McD's for sweet tea and if you know my1cent, she can't go without a sweet tea a day in her life. After that we headed over to office depot to look at really cool pens where we wrote all over the place about how we were there and how much we love our sweet tea. Then we headed over to wally world where we ran into our friend the sock monkey. Did I tell you that my1cent is obsessed with sock monkey's and I am determined to buy her a sock monkey hat? Then her daughter put on an awesome smurf hat. We got her thanksgiving dinner, looked at presents for cats, got clothing for her younger girls and then headed over to the party outlet. She spoiled me rotten.
We had to go to the party outlet to get stickers. She needed stickers for an awesome planner she had bought. Then my friend and I spotted rock candy so she got if for us. The rock candy was blue just like my finns smurf hat. Along the way their were awkward hugging moments, christmas shopping and tons of laughs. My1cent, I know you read this blog and you and your daughter gave me an awesome day. I couldn't have asked for more!!! :)
My mom always tells me to knock it off when I say I have a mental illness and such. I have autism and an anxiety disorder. Can you blame me when I say that? Now, yes I do have some issues and no they aren't bad, but they are significant enough to affect me on a daily basis. Right now I am going through one of those times where I wish everything was perfect.
Issues started arising last week when we had to cancel an appointment with my therapist. That was not cool, especially when it was the day of the appointment. On that day, I shed a few tears, but no major tantrum. Yay!!! On the other hand, I feel like there have been a lot of changes going on. I DON'T DEAL WELL with the HOLIDAYS. I absolutely love them, but they are hard. Holidays give me extended periods of time with little structure. Most people consider them to be hard emotionally. With me, the unstructured activity causes anxiety to come back. It causes enough for me to think I need more medication, but since I am educated and aware, I know it will pass and that I will be okay.
Over the years I was diagnosed with everything from a learning disability, adhd, to autism. It was a struggle to find a diagnosis. We finally learned about aspergers and had me tested. When most people hear their child has autism, it scares them and saddens them. For my parents, it was a relief and an answer. Along with this diagnosis, also come a misunderstanding. This year I am in a class with kids on all different levels, which leads to everyone being treated the same. If I am told I can't do something, I feel I can.
I know several months back, I talked about the driving being an obstacle. Yes, it was an obstacle, but it wasn't something I was too thrilled with anyway. Over the years I had been told there was always that possibility that I wouldn't be able to. In my class there have been some things that I have been told that would be hard to do. I did them anyway. I still have determination. I have grown so much lately, but today was a different story. I love to defy odds and if someone tells me I can't do something, it makes me want to try even harder to prove them wrong.
Today was a rough day to say the least. Unfortunately a dear friend of mine had three/four family members get in a car accident. There was possible hydroplaning, but no one knew what happened. To be perfectly honest, I have been lucky to not run into this situation. It was heartbreaking to hear the news, but I also acted very selfish towards this as ironically, I was going to see them today. No one was hurt bad, just a couple of bumps, bruises and scratches. They were checked out by a nurse and they were okay.
Today, I had off school for thanksgiving. It was supposed to be a great day with a friend in the morning and a dr. appointment in the afternoon. It was going to be my mom's coworkers daughter. My mom owns her own business that is run from her basement. All my1cent had to do was bring her daughter to work. Unfortunately this family was the family involved in a car accident last night. No one was injured, but they were all shaken up. I don't deal well with change and especially last minute. My mom talked to her last night, and everything was okay, but they didn't know what was to happen. They left me hanging, but this is where I get selfish.
Due to a lack of empathy in some areas, all I thought about was how rotten my day was going to be with out a fantastic friend to hang out with. I didn't think about how scared their family was and that everyone was if not physically hurt, but emotionally. I have to say that I hate change and obsessive thoughts and behaviors. This is where I hate mental illness. It hurts and makes me look selfish. I have no empathy for others. all I cared about was getting to see friends.
Today, They ended up coming. They came in the morning and worked and then we went out to eat with my mom before she had to go to a meeting. My dr. appt was cancelled, but that is okay. I think I got a little recreational and shopping therapy today anyway. After lunch my1cent took me out to run errands and have fun. My mom told me afterwards that I deserved it because I handled the chaos well. Let me just say that today wasn't easy for anyone and its too complex to explain.
Despite the confusion I had tons of fun with not only my friend, but then her mom took me out for some retail therapy. We started the day by making amazing chocolate chip cookies. Did I tell you how amazing they were? Then we played some wii, discussed our schedule and did more discussing of the schedule.
In the afternoon we decided to have some fun. We went out to lunch. Then we stopped at McD's for sweet tea and if you know my1cent, she can't go without a sweet tea a day in her life. After that we headed over to office depot to look at really cool pens where we wrote all over the place about how we were there and how much we love our sweet tea. Then we headed over to wally world where we ran into our friend the sock monkey. Did I tell you that my1cent is obsessed with sock monkey's and I am determined to buy her a sock monkey hat? Then her daughter put on an awesome smurf hat. We got her thanksgiving dinner, looked at presents for cats, got clothing for her younger girls and then headed over to the party outlet. She spoiled me rotten.
We had to go to the party outlet to get stickers. She needed stickers for an awesome planner she had bought. Then my friend and I spotted rock candy so she got if for us. The rock candy was blue just like my finns smurf hat. Along the way their were awkward hugging moments, christmas shopping and tons of laughs. My1cent, I know you read this blog and you and your daughter gave me an awesome day. I couldn't have asked for more!!! :)
Sunday, November 13, 2011
Pardon the interruption for a very important announcement
Okay! Not really, but I would like to talk to you about my bad habit of interrupting. Over the years we have worked on my social skills; I have come a long way, but there is still stuff to work on. One of those things is interrupting; it sounds so basic, but for some reason I can't get the hang of it. The exciting news is that I think I know why at least. The first step is noticing it and its a plus to know why its happening.
Last weekend, we had company over. I must of interrupted every other sentence that weekend. I felt bad that I was doing it and I knew I was doing , but I couldn't help it. I've told my doctors in the past that its like a tic or obsessive thought that I have to say. I have now discovered thats what it feels like, but thats not what it is. The interrupting has to do with processing.
Yes, I do obsess over stuff and sometimes I just have to say it. The fact though is that my interrupting has to do with processing. Have you ever had a time when you knew there was something you wanted to say about a particular topic, but that topic was over and a new one was started? Yup, thats what happens to me essentially. Let me explain though because it is a little more complex even though it compares.
When someone is having a conversation and I want to say something, it takes long for me to form the actual thought than the typical person. For example, given the thought "the cat is cute", I can say oh yeah it is, but if everyone just agreed there would be no conversation. I know that I need to add to conversation, but by the time the thought "yes the cat is cute, I really like its stripes" comes into my head, the conversation is over. My mind is still behind on the other conversation. A long with this is one more problem.
There is a fluent conversation going on and I want to add a statement. I think about what I want to say, but I am two seconds late with adding it. I haven't realized the other person is already talking and I have finally processed through my thought. Until I process through my thought, realize the other person is talking, and get the words to my lips, its already to late. Lets face it, interrupting is more complex than anyone realize. Some people think that its as simple as just waiting until someone is done talking, but its much much more.
Last weekend, we had company over. I must of interrupted every other sentence that weekend. I felt bad that I was doing it and I knew I was doing , but I couldn't help it. I've told my doctors in the past that its like a tic or obsessive thought that I have to say. I have now discovered thats what it feels like, but thats not what it is. The interrupting has to do with processing.
Yes, I do obsess over stuff and sometimes I just have to say it. The fact though is that my interrupting has to do with processing. Have you ever had a time when you knew there was something you wanted to say about a particular topic, but that topic was over and a new one was started? Yup, thats what happens to me essentially. Let me explain though because it is a little more complex even though it compares.
When someone is having a conversation and I want to say something, it takes long for me to form the actual thought than the typical person. For example, given the thought "the cat is cute", I can say oh yeah it is, but if everyone just agreed there would be no conversation. I know that I need to add to conversation, but by the time the thought "yes the cat is cute, I really like its stripes" comes into my head, the conversation is over. My mind is still behind on the other conversation. A long with this is one more problem.
There is a fluent conversation going on and I want to add a statement. I think about what I want to say, but I am two seconds late with adding it. I haven't realized the other person is already talking and I have finally processed through my thought. Until I process through my thought, realize the other person is talking, and get the words to my lips, its already to late. Lets face it, interrupting is more complex than anyone realize. Some people think that its as simple as just waiting until someone is done talking, but its much much more.
Saturday, November 12, 2011
Helpful Tips
I am starting to get some readers who need a little help working with individuals on the spectrum. is a lot going on right now that I prefer not to blog about, so I will leave you with this while still keeping up with the blog.
Holiday Breaks
I want to start off with the holiday break as it is fast approaching. This is typically an emotional time for the typical individual, but individuals with autism take it much differently. I can only speak for myself though. People with aspergers have extreme trouble with routine and schedule. They also sometimes having trouble creating activities for their own enjoyment over a long period of time. Unlike neurotypicals, we have less friends too hang out with during the holiday. The holidays is a time where a lot travel so that also lessens the chance of hanging out with friends.
Hanging out with friends may not sound like a thing to do over break, but it does give us a chance to have something to do without sitting around or keeping our parents busy. The most important thing to do is to keep us busy. Make sure not to overstimulate us, but keep us stimulated. I often have extreme anxiety over the holidays. By the time I go back to school, I normally feel proud that I have not had an anxiety attack.
Vacations
All families like to take vacations, but all too often, vacations can be too overwhelming for your aspie. I have always managed to go on vacations with my family, but it has been hard. There are sensory issues, unknown locations, no routine and countless other things. I want to give you some tips to deal with this.
First off pick a quiet location. This has been the key for me. Disney may be a great place, but its not for your aspie. There are too many sights and sounds that can overwhelm them. Some noises that have bothered me have been the ice machines in hotels, screaming kids at the pool, noises at the amusement parks and many more. I have even been startled by a boats whistle.
There are some places that are much quieter though. The other year I went to a dude ranch in arizona with my family. The dude ranch was away from the city. It was actually in the middle of a desert. There were very few people and quiet activities. Horseback riding, a swing set, a petting zoo, swimming pool, basketball court and game room. You could to these activities at your leisure and everything was quiet. I felt know anxiety there. I had 100% peace.
A new location can often times be overwhelming to take in. I would suggest gathering pictures of the location before you visit. They can either be your own or from offline, but it should give some calm to your child's life. Let them know what is in the pictures. For example, tell them this is the bedroom, this is the adult pool or this is the family pool. Tell them what noises, sights and feelings there will be in those locations.
Lastly, plan a schedule. I especially have trouble coming and going from my travel destination. The flight is the hardest part. Using an airplane is hard for a lot of people, but for someone with autism plains interfere with schedules. Give a specific schedule with the time you leave time you have to wake up if your going i the morning, the time you have to leave for the airport, the time you board your flight, the time you land, the time you eat and if you need to take a another flight repeat what time it leaves and arrives. When you arrive at your destination remind your child how you will actually get to your location with the time it takes, what time you'll get there and what you will do when you get there. Often times when I travel, I don't get there until all activities are over. Remind your child that you can do the activities tomorrow and that you will have all week.
Homework
As you have been able to tell, schedule and routine are a must. Often times we have trouble with executive functioning. This means that we can't organize our thoughts and memories. When your child comes home they may have homework. You may want to ask them if they have homework, but DON'T. This is a big NO, NO that my parents made. Go through every subject for the child since you have a sense of executive functioning. Ask them, do you have science homework? Do you have reading? Do you have math? Do you have social studies? Asking do you have homework is like asking what your favorite food is to an aspie child. We all have many different foods we like, so we don't always know what our absolute favorite is. When you ask an aspie if they have homework, they may assume no because they don't have homework in every subject every day. I had math everyday, so I always knew I would have math, but did I finish it in school? I think, wait know. We don't do the processing which can lead to failure when we are really smart and willing to do the homework.
I think thats it for right now folks!!!
Holiday Breaks
I want to start off with the holiday break as it is fast approaching. This is typically an emotional time for the typical individual, but individuals with autism take it much differently. I can only speak for myself though. People with aspergers have extreme trouble with routine and schedule. They also sometimes having trouble creating activities for their own enjoyment over a long period of time. Unlike neurotypicals, we have less friends too hang out with during the holiday. The holidays is a time where a lot travel so that also lessens the chance of hanging out with friends.
Hanging out with friends may not sound like a thing to do over break, but it does give us a chance to have something to do without sitting around or keeping our parents busy. The most important thing to do is to keep us busy. Make sure not to overstimulate us, but keep us stimulated. I often have extreme anxiety over the holidays. By the time I go back to school, I normally feel proud that I have not had an anxiety attack.
Vacations
All families like to take vacations, but all too often, vacations can be too overwhelming for your aspie. I have always managed to go on vacations with my family, but it has been hard. There are sensory issues, unknown locations, no routine and countless other things. I want to give you some tips to deal with this.
First off pick a quiet location. This has been the key for me. Disney may be a great place, but its not for your aspie. There are too many sights and sounds that can overwhelm them. Some noises that have bothered me have been the ice machines in hotels, screaming kids at the pool, noises at the amusement parks and many more. I have even been startled by a boats whistle.
There are some places that are much quieter though. The other year I went to a dude ranch in arizona with my family. The dude ranch was away from the city. It was actually in the middle of a desert. There were very few people and quiet activities. Horseback riding, a swing set, a petting zoo, swimming pool, basketball court and game room. You could to these activities at your leisure and everything was quiet. I felt know anxiety there. I had 100% peace.
A new location can often times be overwhelming to take in. I would suggest gathering pictures of the location before you visit. They can either be your own or from offline, but it should give some calm to your child's life. Let them know what is in the pictures. For example, tell them this is the bedroom, this is the adult pool or this is the family pool. Tell them what noises, sights and feelings there will be in those locations.
Lastly, plan a schedule. I especially have trouble coming and going from my travel destination. The flight is the hardest part. Using an airplane is hard for a lot of people, but for someone with autism plains interfere with schedules. Give a specific schedule with the time you leave time you have to wake up if your going i the morning, the time you have to leave for the airport, the time you board your flight, the time you land, the time you eat and if you need to take a another flight repeat what time it leaves and arrives. When you arrive at your destination remind your child how you will actually get to your location with the time it takes, what time you'll get there and what you will do when you get there. Often times when I travel, I don't get there until all activities are over. Remind your child that you can do the activities tomorrow and that you will have all week.
Homework
As you have been able to tell, schedule and routine are a must. Often times we have trouble with executive functioning. This means that we can't organize our thoughts and memories. When your child comes home they may have homework. You may want to ask them if they have homework, but DON'T. This is a big NO, NO that my parents made. Go through every subject for the child since you have a sense of executive functioning. Ask them, do you have science homework? Do you have reading? Do you have math? Do you have social studies? Asking do you have homework is like asking what your favorite food is to an aspie child. We all have many different foods we like, so we don't always know what our absolute favorite is. When you ask an aspie if they have homework, they may assume no because they don't have homework in every subject every day. I had math everyday, so I always knew I would have math, but did I finish it in school? I think, wait know. We don't do the processing which can lead to failure when we are really smart and willing to do the homework.
I think thats it for right now folks!!!
Saturday, November 5, 2011
Acceptance
About a month ago I met Temple Grandin, a women with autism who is changing the lives of animals. She was my idol and my hero. I met her and got my picture taken with her. It was like I was meeting a celebrity, but today is different. If you have never seen the movie Front of The Class you have to. This movie all about acceptance and stuff that I have gone through.
Brad Cohen was an individual with tourette syndrome. The tourette syndrome didn't slow him down and my aspergers isn't going to slow me down either. Brad had to go through obstacles such as getting along with peers and teachers. His mom was an advocate and so is mine. I am going to make this post short because I feel that the video I am going to post shares more than my own words. Please enjoy
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=insu46QDTeY
Brad Cohen was an individual with tourette syndrome. The tourette syndrome didn't slow him down and my aspergers isn't going to slow me down either. Brad had to go through obstacles such as getting along with peers and teachers. His mom was an advocate and so is mine. I am going to make this post short because I feel that the video I am going to post shares more than my own words. Please enjoy
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=insu46QDTeY
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
curse you executive functioning
This morning was a little rough. It wasn't much rougher than any other morning, but some things that are said everyday, today finally stuck and not in a good way. I have Aspergers and so therefore I have trouble with executive functioning. You really don't need to remind me I have it and I am working on it really hard. People with aspergers have normal intelligence even though they may not act that way.
Executive functioning is essentially defined by saying that it s a process in which naturally takes place in a neurotypical to keep stuff organized in the head. Basically people who have trouble with executive functioning have trouble with schedules and keeping stuff organized. For example, getting ready for school in the morning can be a nightmare. You have to brush your hair, brush your teeth, wash your face, get dressed, put deodorant on, and so on and so forth. How the heck do people remember all of this and take a shower still. I take mine at night. People who have trouble with executive functioning have trouble with keeping track of these tasks and unscrambling them into such a way that they get everything done in an ordinary fashion.
The very fact that I have trouble with my executive functioning can cause friction between my brother who is three years younger than me and myself. I really hate it. Everyday we go through the same thing. J you need to get ready, we need to go. J what do you need now? J we need to get out to the bus hurry up. You didn't pack your lunch yet? Keep track of your id, please. Where is your cell phone now? You don't have time to throw your sneakers on and fortunately I am still wearing occasionally. Put your crocs on darn it.
Those things that I stated above are the typical questions we go through on a daily basis and by the time we get out to the bus we are both ticked with each other and sometimes there is a little bit of "shut your mouth" and "well I am not waiting for you next time" which then ends with " well I have never missed the bus before.
Today something stuck though. I asked my brother why he always worries about me when I have never missed the bus. Why he always reminds me to do stuff even though he is three years younger. The truth he has spoken, "you struggle with the same problems everyday". That hit me like a rock hitting my head. Ouch!!!! Yup, thats when I got mad at my disability. I wasn't mad at my brother because he helped me, I was officially annoyed with my disability. How on gods green earth will I manage to get to class on time when I am in college all alone. What will I do without my brother? Honestly he may be a pain in the butt sometimes, but he has helped me. I am not giving up, but sometimes he makes me feel like he is taking care of me as if he has more responsibilities than I do and that he can't experience childhood because he has to be another parent.
Yes, i know I can live alone, but today I got a reality shock. I need to start picking up some slack. Maybe I should start doing stuff in the evening.
Executive functioning is essentially defined by saying that it s a process in which naturally takes place in a neurotypical to keep stuff organized in the head. Basically people who have trouble with executive functioning have trouble with schedules and keeping stuff organized. For example, getting ready for school in the morning can be a nightmare. You have to brush your hair, brush your teeth, wash your face, get dressed, put deodorant on, and so on and so forth. How the heck do people remember all of this and take a shower still. I take mine at night. People who have trouble with executive functioning have trouble with keeping track of these tasks and unscrambling them into such a way that they get everything done in an ordinary fashion.
The very fact that I have trouble with my executive functioning can cause friction between my brother who is three years younger than me and myself. I really hate it. Everyday we go through the same thing. J you need to get ready, we need to go. J what do you need now? J we need to get out to the bus hurry up. You didn't pack your lunch yet? Keep track of your id, please. Where is your cell phone now? You don't have time to throw your sneakers on and fortunately I am still wearing occasionally. Put your crocs on darn it.
Those things that I stated above are the typical questions we go through on a daily basis and by the time we get out to the bus we are both ticked with each other and sometimes there is a little bit of "shut your mouth" and "well I am not waiting for you next time" which then ends with " well I have never missed the bus before.
Today something stuck though. I asked my brother why he always worries about me when I have never missed the bus. Why he always reminds me to do stuff even though he is three years younger. The truth he has spoken, "you struggle with the same problems everyday". That hit me like a rock hitting my head. Ouch!!!! Yup, thats when I got mad at my disability. I wasn't mad at my brother because he helped me, I was officially annoyed with my disability. How on gods green earth will I manage to get to class on time when I am in college all alone. What will I do without my brother? Honestly he may be a pain in the butt sometimes, but he has helped me. I am not giving up, but sometimes he makes me feel like he is taking care of me as if he has more responsibilities than I do and that he can't experience childhood because he has to be another parent.
Yes, i know I can live alone, but today I got a reality shock. I need to start picking up some slack. Maybe I should start doing stuff in the evening.
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