Thinking through and being rude

     I have always said that autism is a processing disorder and once again it holds true. Many individuals with autism come off as rude, but they are probably the most polite individuals with the best of intentions. Those comments that are blunt, are to help you. Those questions that we ask so directly are to process through what is happening around us.

     The past couple days I think I have finally figured out the problem, but yet its not something you can explain. My mom always tells me that my questions are intimidating, lets say. For example, instead of saying, "Hey mom are we still going to walmart tonight", I always will say, "weren't we going to walmart tonight" as if she had done something wrong.

     Now lets take a real example I ran into last night. As I was crying off of lack of stimulation last night, I was asking my mom about going to the movies. We were supposed to see the Muppets as a family or some other movie that we could agree on. My mother told me that my brother was supposed to be asking me and my dad about it and to go ask him. I went down the hall, knocked on his bedroom door and he answered My response, "Weren't you supposed to look up the movie schedule and let us know what was going on?" In response to that he then went on to say that we wasn't going to go to the movie because I had an attitude. Instead I could have hinted by asking, "were there any movies you wanted to see tonight?'

      Today I thought about what had happened last night. My brother was supposed to have his intercom plugged in, but it wasn't. Yes, we have an intercom, because my brother refuses to come out of his room for anything other than food and to use the restroom. Anyway, I was told to call him to see what was going on that his intercom wasn't on. Instead of saying, "you should have your intercom on, mom was trying to reach you," I said, "Is your intercom working?"

      The slight way we can change what we say changes so much more. It changes the way we come across. It can even change ones first impression of you depending on the situation. Today, my mom and I were at barnes and noble and she let me know that I did it the right way some how. I told her I don't know how I did it. Its like putting  a rubix cube back together, but you don't know how you did it. You just do it. I just need to think before I say stuff.

As my third grade teacher had a poster in her room. It said think, think, think before you say or do. Individuals with autism just need to work harder on this.