The next two weeks are going to be huge weeks for me. This week I am at a special program that our school district has for special needs kids. Anyone who has an iep can be part of it. The program is an apartment that is located near our local college campus. Many college students rent out the apartments and the city bus comes by frequently. Many of us can't drive by ourselves and will have to rely on city transportation when we move out of the house. I have to grocery shop, plan meals, cook, clean and get along with roommates. Did I tell you I have aspergers which makes every little argument a whole lot more exaggerated and irritating??? I love it, but I have a bunch of change coming up.
I will stay in this living situation for a week. I learn out to live on my own, entertain myself, and get along with roommates. Typically I will have two roommates and a transition/job coach with me twenty-four hours a day. This is a great transition in a free yet supported environment away from my parents. Last night I actually made chicken parmesan, garlic bread, and peach cobbler. Yum!!! One large part that is very tough for me, is making my own decisions. People with aspergers are either very particular about something such as sensory issues or they have a carefree attitude. I had significant trouble with this today as we took a hike at a local environmental center. There were many trails to pick from when we were traveling. It was me and the coach while my roommate had to work. I had the day off today. There would always be two trails to pick from, yet I still didn't know which one to pick. I was lost. I was lost and anxious because I also didn't want to get lost literally. i run into this situation frequently. Fortunately when i work with my autism therapist she pushes thses things on me. We will take a walk half way around a walking lap and she will ask me if I want to keep going or if I want to turn around. I HAVE to make the decision. that was the moving on section.
Next week I will be moving on as I will be starting college. Perfect right? Well, yes it is, but it also causes a lot of anxiety and questions to appear as aspies don't like change and they also like to know what is going to happen. I will be in a learning support classroom while taking college classes. I am so excited, but disturbed or interruped by the fact that I don't have my schedule yet. School starts on Monday. I have know clue what the routine will be, or how much of the actual class curriculum I will be following because this is a special program through our school district. I do know that I will ride the bus and have a transition class in the morning. That is it, but everyone says i will do great. I am especially nervous about finding my classes and making it back to my main classroom. I like to have company. It is also a big campus to navigate which makes things a little scary. I don't want to get lost and I don't want to get in trouble.
...so we can teach you new things.
This section is just so I don't have to make another post since there is stuff I want to say and I haven't been on lately. See the explaining everything. Yup thats aspergers beating my butt.
I have said a lot about growing up and going to this apartment and this college. Those that know me may think I never stop talking about it when they are around. One thing that I have thought about is how black and white I really am. As I have been experiencing life at the apartment this week, the thought has crossed my mind. My parents always used to get so frustrated and say, "when are you going to learn, so we can teach you new things?" Well I got the answer, when I actually learn what you are saying and have some sort of emotional control. When i was little I would think they meant like teaching I dog a new trick. Maybe they were teach me a new trick like to do laundry or cut my food. The truth is I really never knew what they actually meant until i started coming to the apartment.
When I started coming tot he apartment, I thought I knew how to clean, but that I would have trouble with the cooking. I was not in reality. There is much more to that then cleaning. I thought cleaning was wiping the counter down and loading and emptying the dishwasher. lol. There is far more to life than that. Now I know that when my parents made that comment they meant to teach me about the world and how to interact. They taught me how to make good choices. They taught me there morales and beliefs. it wasn't black and white, but much more gray. That leads me to say something about making good choices.
When I was young, my parents would show me examples of people who make bad choices. They would tell me that I had to make good choices or I would end up like them. I would think that is easy, I am smart. that is all I need. Well there is much more to that too. You have to make good choices and act on them. You can choose to make your room a mess and then make the good choice to do your room. Saying that isn't going to change your room. You need to get off your lazy butt and actually do the work that needs to be put into it. Its not as simple as not smoking or not drinking. I may be black and white, but it just takes time for me to catch on to these things. I am in a phase right now where I am really discovering the real me. I am discovering who I am and what I can do with my life. I am discovering how to improve it and how to contribute to society. Black and white can be good sometimes, but there is so much to learn when you are not black and white about things.
No comments:
Post a Comment