This school year is very different and very busy. I have classes and I have down time which is normally filled with work experience, homework and occasionally a game of uno or hanging out with friends. I love college life and my program treats me like a real college student even though, I am a high school student. I don't have to have permission for every little thing I do. There is also a downside to the college program I am in. I am sometimes too busy.
Being too busy sounds good right??? Yes, I love staying busy, but during those times where you are not busy, you go into a state of shock. You get so confused as to what happened and you don't know what to do with yourself. You go to school and stay busy, but then you come home and you have nothing to do. Often times I come home all hyped up on the natural energy that I have gained from the day I had. It usually comes from excitement and new things, but when you come home you aren't stimulated by new things and you have to try to entertain yourself.
Someone who has aspergers has a really hard time entertaining themselves. We have restrictive interests, lack of friends to do stuff with and that guilt and anxiety that everyone has, but ten times worse. when i am at home, I normally sit on my computer all day. I maybe take a nap or do my puzzle or scrapbooking. If I take a nap, then I feel guilty because I can be doing more with my life, but I always get so tired. If I am on my computer, I feel guilty that the only thing that can entertain me is my computer, but the computer is calming and very stimulating at the same time.
I am dreading this weekend and next as I will have my first college weekend where I have come back from a huge week of firsts and new stuff and I will hate the second weekend because it is three days long!!! :(
To show you what I mean when I say busy, I will share my a week in review. Monday we had orientation a class, learning how to buy books, lunch with our new mentors, paperwork to hand out and getting to know each other. On tuesday, we had classes and then we went to the lunch and the die cut shop where we worked our butts off. On Wednesday, we spent our day at classes, lunch and then a huge volunteer fair where we got about fifteen mentors to join us for the year. While we were at the volunteer fair handing flyers out, we had to manage our time and look at other volunteer organizations. On Thursday we had classes, and then we went to the die cut shop. Today we had classes, went to on a mini field trip to some museum to learn about earthquakes, ate lunch, watched performances from our fellow classmates, did homework and we still managed to play uno at the end of the day. Is it fair to say that I am absolutely exhausted, but hyped up on energy. I am exhausted, but I am stimulated in such a way that stimulation has become a craving. I have learned that I can't always ask for more and I have to deal with what I get. Even though I am tired, I just want more, i feel like the energizer bunny.
Overall college is a good experience, but it leaves me asking for more fun. I have never really noticed how what you do really impacts your mood and energy level. Doing nothing makes you tired and makes you want to take naps. Doing active things make you have lots of energy that at some points has you no knowing what you want to do with yourself.
I can't wait to update you on how school is going next week!!! :)
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