...because I have Aspergers

   There have been a lot of things that I thought I would not be able to do through out my life because I have aspergers. When I was a young child, my parents were often told that I would end up in a group home. Today I will be able to live on my own with a husband, a good college degree and job, and possibly even kids, but before high school we didn't know anything.

   I have not limited myself because I have Asperger syndrome. I am a very outgoing person and do anything and everything I want to and can do with no excuses. Now granted, I do take advantage of any extra services I can get because it just increases those abilities, but I use them as tools, not as another part of my disability. I also tend to make excuses after the fact of why something didn't go right. Often times I will blame something I did wrong or the fact that I don't have friends on my Aspergers, but I don't ever say I can't do something.

   On Sunday, I got some pretty upsetting news. My parents have always raised me to be aware of my disability, but don't let it get in harms way. Well truth is it got in my way and it was out of my control. I am not playing a blame game, but this was something someone physically told me. This was told to me right in front of my mother. I can't drive.

   I know many of you know I have a vision impairment that has limited me, but I was evaluated for driving and they said I could. I figured that the only thing that would limit me from driving is my vision. Boy was I wrong. I do have vision issues, but I am able to compensate for them using different strategies. I can't drive because I have Autism.

   Now let me explain. The driving teacher came to my house and before we even went out on the road, she told my mom she thought it wouldn't be a good idea for me to drive. She took me out on road and I drove the worst I ever did because I was shocked; I was shocked that I couldn't drive because I had autism. I know its awful.

   We went out on the road with mother in tow and sure enough the driving instructor was right and I new she was right. Autism causes other processing disorders that are invisible to the eye or ear when you first meet someone. When I tested for driving, my reaction time was great, but that was in a calm setting. When I have multiple stimuli that I need to pay attention to, I can't do it.  I was shot down. Now I am telling myself that I can't drive and that its not worth it.

   The positive thing is that I am not blaming my autism when I do this because its not the first thing comes to mind. I automatically think vision and then I have to correct myself. Its the autism and its never going to be anything else. I CAN'T DRIVE BECAUSE I HAVE AUTISM!!! :(