When I tell people I have Aspergers, they give me this look as if to say that it sure doesn't look like you have it. Aspergers is very different in girls and even more uniquely represented in each individual. Today I want to talk to you about how my emotions play a role in my diagnosis and why some people get very confused as well as why we don't have personality at times.
The one thing that held me back from receiving the Aspergers Diagnosis as a child was my personality and my emotions. I have always had personality which seems to be the leading cause of people being confused with my condition. I do have personality, but my emotions are quirky. When someone thinks about aspergers, they think about someone who shows no emotion and a flat voice. This is very untrue.
If I feel a certain way I will show it to you and you may be a little intimidated. Every person is uniquely made whether you have aspergers or you are normal. No one is normal so you shouldn't think a diagnosis is normal either. Just because someone has a disability, doesn't mean that they are normal compared to anyone else with that disability. We are all unique.
When people come across me, they see someone who is bright, kind and talkative. I may talk a lot about myself, but I talk a lot. I also show my emotions and sometimes it can be to the extreme. Instead of putting a smile on my face when I am happy, I laugh and jump up and down. Instead of making a facial expression when I am unhappy, I cry, yell, and sometimes even become a little aggressive, but that has faded as I have gotten older.
People may be confused by my emotions, but they have autistic tendencies. The worst part of people misunderstanding me there inability to be patient. Most people who come in contact with me, get to know me and the aspergers is in the background. When the aspergers comes out, they have forgotten about it and get frustrated with me because they think I should know better.
Now I am not saying that I should use my aspergers as an excuse or I can't do stuff that normal people can do. I also am not sharing that i think the whole world needs to know about my aspergers. My point is that I think people should know about my aspergers and accept the fact that I have it before they regret what they say or do. I don't think aspergers should be the only thing about me, but it is something that makes me special and that people need to understand and watch out for. I need to watch it myself, but can you blame me if I make a mistake.
I know we all make mistakes, but this is just something to think about. I feel this problem is all to real in my life. when I tell you I have aspergers, don't shove it off to the side and tell me I don't have it because I do and I am proud of it. It may be harmful in some ways, but its helpful in others. Aspergers isn't a bad thing, so don't tell me I don't have it as if it is a negative think. Understand that I have it and I may act out if I am overwhelmed. I don't process stuff the same way as you do and I don't understand emotional vocabulary in the same way as you. If I think someone is frustrated, it doesn't mean mad it means stressed or annoyed.
Just to clear up some confusion, I would also like to explain to you why people with aspergers sometimes don't have personality. People with autism rely on there senses for information than anyone else. We all learn through them, but we don't depend on them on a regular basis. Our senses make up our world more than our emotions make it which is opposite of a neurotypical. If our senses our out of whack we get overwhelmed. If we are overwhelmed, we just need to focus on functioning and communicating. At this point who cares about personality when you are just trying to function. Controlling our senses is more important.
Next time you see someone who has aspergers think about this
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