As an individual with aspergers, I think in terms of rules and words. I use my words to control my world. One word that I use pretty strongly is the word teen. If you are a legal adult who is eighteen or you are thirteen, in my mind, you are a teen. When I go to the book store I am a teen.
Tonight my mother took me to the bookstore as this a is a place that feels peaceful and happy to me. It is calm and somewhere that I like to look around, but I have problems with it. My problem is that I use the word teenager too strongly. I automatically want to go to the teen section of the store because I am a teen, but I know that I hate the teen section. I hate the teen section because i don't care to read about relationships. They don't make sense.
Now before I get anyone too confused, I do like to socialize. I love to socialize and some consider me to be the butterfly. I am always bubbly. I love to socialize, but I have trouble with socializing and I continue to struggle with relationships. Any sort of relationship is tricky for me but I really don't need to read about it. Why can't they have a young adult section with a mixture of classics, non-fiction and who knows what else? Anything, but boys.
As I have said in the past, I am developmentally two years behind which means that I am just getting into boys. I have friends or at least a few. I like having people to talk to and its a miracle if I actually connect with anyone because I am just that quirky, but I don't get how to make those friendships. If I don't get the relationships in the normal way, how am I supposed to enjoy reading about boys? That wouldn't be a break at all. I thought reading was supposed to be relaxing and enjoyable.
Now I am interested in boys, but I just want one. I want to go out there and pick a guy who cares about me. There is a part of me that is interested in guys, but I am not crazy. It is astounding how many girls just go crazy. I really just need a guy who cares about me. People always say that the world can't change for me so I have to change for the world. Well sometimes there are things that you can't change and that guy better like me for that.
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