When I was in high school, I took part in social skill groups that were run by my psychologist. In one of the first sessions she asked us if we ever heard of the term "points of view". I thought I knew what social skills I had to work on, but I obviously didn't. Point of view involves empathy and people with aspergers don't have empathy; at least that is what the doctors say.
Today I made a new discovery. I knew I had empathy, but I never knew how to connect with people. Today I learned that there are two kinds of empathy, one of which I am good at and the other I am bad at. The two types are conversing and giving. I am really bad at conversing, but I am great at giving.
I definitely can say that I am one of the most bubbly and outgoing people in many individuals minds. I am not trying to brag, but this is stuff people have told me. I am not trying to be rude, but explain. I may be very bubbly and outgoing, but I can't converse properly. I will go into a conversation and within the first 2-5 minutes I will be talking about myself and monopolizing the conversation. I don't get points of view and how others feel. I just try to converse and I don't think about what my frineds' interests are. I always use the words I and me. I also tend to ask questions about things I am interested in, not what the friend is interested in, but I can't get past this point no matter how hard I try. The bubbly part of me has also lead me to be over exuberant and sometimes hyper and goofy.
On the other hand I am great at giving. For example, if I got to a store, I think about gifts for others. This may include something such as baby clothes or maybe a sweet tea for the receptionist at the docs office. She is addicted to that man!!! I do have to say that I get tempted to get a sweet tea for the receptionist at my doctors office every time I see the doctor. I love to give and I think of others first, but when I am in the moment, I can't think about anyone but myself.
In the future, I think people should change their point of view about asperger syndrome. I do get their point of view on that topic and it needs to change. They think that we don't like to be social and that we have no empathy for others. This has been disproved by this very blog.
Now if I could just figure out to how to use the conversational empathy, my world would be perfect.
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