Happiness

   Well perfect timing for this blog as I just posted expression of emotions yesterday. Today I want to dig a little deeper and talk about how I express happiness. Yesterday, I explained that my emotions are very exuberant. Well lets just say my happiness was outrageous today, but there was anxiety as well.  Maybe I shouldn't say axniety, but anticipation.

   If you saw someone in a passenger seat of a car today clapping there hands, it was probably me. Yup, I get that excited, but don't worry, I know how to control it when I have to, or at least if I am prompted to when I have to. In general, I know that if I am just with my family, its okay.

   Every Friday, I come home around 3:30 where as any other day, I don't get home until at least four, if not five or six, sometimes even eight. Yes, despite the fact that I have few friends, I do keep myself busy. My mom did just get a new employee who I absolutely love, but I only get to see her on friday's because I am so darn busy. I have a van that drops me off at my house where everyone works. I have been getting very anxious on fridays as I anticipate seeing my moms new employee's car when I get home. Will I see it? Did I miss her? Did she come today???

   This has been an ongoing problem or more of a situation for a while. Before she started working for my mom, I would only see her every couple of months. Now I anticipate seeing her on fridays. When I come home on fridays, I take off my shoes and go down to greet this employee with a huge hug. Today she heard me tromping down the stairs and said oh thats J. She got out of her chair with her arms wide open. Last week she told me she was pleased to get her J fix. This week she was pleased to see her favorite person ever. Those simple words mean so much.

   When I went to give her the hug, I was extremely excited and I must of said bye to her about five times today as I left for the gym. She makes me so happy and when that anticipation and anxiety turns into happiness, I get really hyper an exuberant. I feel this huge relief and maybe a little giddy.

   After I went to greet my moms employee, I had to get ready to go again so I could get to the gym. I know to get changed, but I never know where my pants are. I get changed and head out. As we are driving down the road, my mother announces to me that there is a possibility of adopting a kitten and maybe even tomorrow. As she is describing this I am still thinking about my1cent. Lets just call my moms employee that for right now. My mom tells me that I get to meet someone tomorrow and that she is this size and her name is stella. I am a nerd and I automatically think she is a primordial dwarf or a premature baby we are helping.

   She lets me know that this something is a kitten and that her name is stella. I am already crazy over my1cent, but then my mother tells me about stella. This is when I start clapping my hands and asking questions. I totally missed that she was black. There is no problem with the color black, other than the last cat to die was black.

   I later land my self in the gym, where its confirmed that I totally have a new stim as no matter how much I move, I want to shake my head no. Its not like a no as much at it is a continuously repetitive behavior that has been going on ever since I met temple grandin. Something must have changed that night. I really felt very uncomfortable at the gym, but I made it through like a champ and came to find that I was just tired and over excited.

    I continue to obsess over my1cent and this kitten, but my1cent gets better everyday. My mom assures me that as soon as I feel secure that this is where she is and that she is here to stay, I will start to ease. I definitely feel this is true.